Multiple teen websites are reporting Lindsay Lohan hooked up with three different guys in a 24 hour period. Reached for comment, Yogi Berra said: "I hope she wore a condom."

UCLA hired Rick Neuheisel Saturday as its head coach.
The first thing he is going to install is Michigan as a 3-1 favorite to win the Frozen Four.

Illinois set a new "Beef Bowl" record during pre-Rose festivities in Los Angeles Friday night, when their 215 member dining party consumed 870 pounds of prime rib, breaking the record of 799 set by USC the night before with their party of 176. Of course, an asterisk should note that the midwest girlfriends ate quadruple what the LA girlfriends did.
Meanwhile, up in San Francisco at the Emerald Bowl, Oregon State set a new "Tofu Bowl" mark by consuming 540 pounds of tofu prepared by Bay Area chef Alice Waters. The Beavers washed it all down with some pomegranate mineral water.

The NFL fined field official Jim Quirk for "inappropriate physical contact with players" two weeks in a row, the most recent when he grabbed Green Bay LB Nick Barnett by the neck and threw him to the ground while breaking up a scuffle.
Is this guy auditioning to referee WrestleMania XXIV?

Aussie tennis great Evonne Goolagong recently received a trophy from the WTA after an investigation revealed that she had actually been denied the #1 world ranking briefly in the mid-70s due to a computer mixup. Microsoft immediately apologized for glitches in Windows 76.

Bryan Adams and Mick Jagger invited troubled singer Amy Winehouse to join them on the resort island of Mustique for a "rockers family Christmas". Adams said a beach holiday would provide Winehouse a break from drugs and alcohol.
Solid plan. Next she can be paired up in a celebrity golf pro-am with John Daly.

The gun that killed Sean Taylor was tossed into the Everglades, the lawyer for the alleged shooter said. Perhaps unsurprisingly given the season in south Florida, the swamp picked off the throw and returned it for six points.

Word is Bobby Knight will back Cam Cameron from getting fired in Miami.
What's he going to do - throw a chair at Wayne Huizenga?

Some are saying QB Tony Romo needs extra sessions with Cowboys Offensive Coordinator Jason Garrett, but based on the performance anxiety he's displayed in front of Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood, maybe a better alternative would be Dr. Ruth.

Up to 25 players at Florida State could be suspended for four games for cheating in a music class. An academic scandal involving Seminole football players just before the Music City Bowl? Probably involves cheat codes for Dance Dance Revolution.

After Michigan hired Mountaineers coach Rich Rodriguez, West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin III blamed the involvement of agents and says there's something wrong in society "when a leader's word is no longer his bond."
Stay tuned for the next amazing proclamation from a politician.

New York Knicks guard Quentin Richardson said his team is "going through a tough stretch". If seven years is a "tough stretch", maybe Q should be speechwriting for the Bush administration.

In an ad for Slingbox, award-winning Vancouver radio host Rick Ball says when he's on vacation in Hawaii, he PVRs Canucks games back home and then watches entire games on his laptop computer in his hotel room.
The award Ball won was "Worst Use Of Time In Hawaii".

The first hint that there were erroneous Mitchell lists making the rounds was the one that included Steve Bartman and Max Patkin.

Jamaal Tinsley sees more buckshot than a Halo character.

Headline: UFC Under Investigation For Allegedly Running Human-Fighting Ring

Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank thinks Michael Vick could play in the NFL again, provided he doesn't eat too much fried chicken, join a minstrel show or decide to play Negro League baseball instead.

How big is the Patriots-Jets line this week?
Only The Phillie Phanatic as Tony Montana could handle a line this size.

Rutgers coach Greg Schiano reportedly turned down the Michigan job, possibly after phoning Penn State's Joe Paterno to ask his advice. I can only imagine JoePa's response: "I'd like some butterscotch pudding, and tell those kids to stop roller skating in the halls."

Barry Bonds was released for $500 based on "personal recognizance".
Yeah, he was ID'd in a lineup next to Jack from Jack in the Box, Stewie
Griffin and Mr. Potato Head.

Barry Bonds has never won a World Series but his agent Jeff Borris said "Barry plans to put on a ring one day". More likely an electronic monitoring bracelet.

Florida Gators DE Jermaine Cunningham was charged with misdemeanor battery Wednesday for allegedly hitting a restaurant worker with a sandwich and cups. His lawyer is expected to explain Cunningham's mood-altered behavior by invoking the "Dr. Pepper defense".

The Detroit Tigers on Tuesday may have pulled off the greatest heist in Florida in the last seven years.

Redskins coach Joe Gibbs opened Sunday's loss to the Bills not knowing about the 10 men on defense tribute and closed it by calling two timeouts in a row to move Buffalo's game-winning FG 15 yards closer.
Anyone get the feeling the game interrupted his nap?