Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo went for an MRI on his groin today only to find out he is 9,346th on B.C.'s medical waiting list.

Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson was suspended for Thursday's Cincinnati Bengals game after the team said he overslept for an 8:30pm meeting Wednesday.
He must have been watching NBC's Knight Rider.

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has been charged with insider trading by the Securities and Exchange Commission.
He allegedly dumped an expensive stock right before it crashed, which is the opposite of what he did when he traded for Keith Van Horn.

The Steelers beat the Chargers in the NFL's first 11-10 final score in history.
Donovan McNabb said he didn't know games could end 11-10.

ABC BRINGING BACK MONDAY NIGHT BASEBALL IN 2009

New York - Saying "the time is right", right now, ABC today announced it is bringing back Monday Night Baseball next spring, in a move it thinks will kick-start the franchise in a way that will rival its stalwart Monday Night Football.

The network also stated it will be reviving new versions of Charlie's Angels, Laverne & Shirley, and Three's Company.

In a joint announcement, ABC and The Rose Bowl said they will be broadcasting chariot races on New Year's Day.

STEELY DAN TO OPEN INNER-CITY THEME PARK

Fort Apache, NY (AP) - Steely Dan's Donald Fagen and Walter Becker announced plans today for a theme park on 10 hectares in The Bronx, in an attempt to "give back" to their New York City/Brill Building roots, and connect with today's inner-city youth.

Rides expected at the park - set to open in 2010 - include the Cold Turkey Rollercoaster, Midnite Cruiser Bumper Cars, and Black Friday Elevator Drop.

Teens and kids will be greeted by colorful and beloved costumed characters from the Dan universe, such as Doctor Wu, Razor Boy, Charlie Freak and Kid Charlemagne.

A NASCAR fan in her RV at Texas Motor Speedway was hit by a stray bullet Sunday morning before the Dickies 500 race.
No word on whether authorities have any suspects but I would look into Texas Tech fans celebrating their win over Texas.
It's no country for burning old couches.

The recent horror movie The Strangers featured unhappy people who wear bags over their heads.
Crowd scenes were filmed at Ford Field.

The New York Knicks placed guard Stephon Marbury on their inactive list before Friday night's 29-point loss to the Philadelphia 76ers.
The Knicks have an "inactive" list? Talk about semantics...