Sunday, May 31, 2009

Texas beat Boston College 3-2 in 25 innings in the longest game in NCAA history.
Or as Bud Selig likes to call it: 2 ties.

The game finished in 7 hours and 3 minutes.
Mike Hargrove couldn't believe how long it took.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Jose Canseco's MMA debut lasted 77 seconds, or about as long as Mr. T's singing career.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The title of Sam Raimi's new movie is "Drag Me To Hell", which sounds like the Iditarod finishing at a Carlos Mencia concert.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Mr. T made Cubs fans' ears experience something their hearts do: pain.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Terminator Salvation had a disappointing weekend at the box office after poor word of mouth.
Joel Quenneville called it the worst movie in the history of cinema.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Notre Dame is interested in playing a football game at new Yankee Stadium.
If it goes ahead, it will be an intriguing combination of a rich, conservative institution whose glory years are fading into memory, and one of college football's legendary programs.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Former NFL QB Ryan Leaf has been indicted by a Texas grand jury on drug and burglary charges.
The Amarillo Globe-News reports that Leaf has been undergoing drug rehabilitation in British Columbia.
That's like moving to Las Vegas to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

First the NBA vs WWE; now Game 4 of the Penguins-Hurricanes series at Raleigh's RBC Center is double-booked against a Charlie Daniels Band concert.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The WWE's Monday Night Raw is scheduled for Denver's Pepsi Center Monday night at the same time as the Nuggets are slated to host the L.A. Lakers.
Too bad Gary Bettman isn't running their playoffs: they could hold the events concurrently.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

L.A. Angels starter John Lackey was ejected after just two pitches.
Sounds like Dane Cook's last visit to a studio lot.
Detroit police say a woman was hit by a chair thrown by Anaheim GM Bob Murray after the Ducks lost Game 7 to the Red Wings.
Murray and Chris Pronger are more likely to get on Jerry Springer before ESPN.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The President of the Philippines declared boxer Manny Pacquiao a "special envoy of peace".
The President of the Dominican Republic calls Manny Ramirez a special envoy of bald men who don't use women's fertility drugs to mask performance-enhancers.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Yanni concert at the Penguins arena Tuesday forced Games 4 and 5 to be held back-to-back Friday and Saturday night in Pittsburgh and Washington.
Yanni will open the show by raising Jaromir Jagr's mullet to the rafters.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

The Minnesota Vikings have reportedly been sent X-rays of Brett Favre's injured right shoulder and bruised ego.
Former Nebraska Cornhuskers QB Sam Keller is suing EA Sports and the NCAA, saying the videogame maker wrongly uses the likenesses of athletes.
Can a Cincinnati Bengals class-action against Grand Theft Auto be far behind?

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Reports are Brett Favre is planning a comeback to get "revenge" on the Packers.
Easton (PA) and Phillipsburg (NJ) high schools' 1993 football teams think it's time he gave it a rest.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Rio de Janeiro hopes to host the 2016 Summer Olympics.
If selected, their mascot will be a giant, animated herpes sore.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Despite Gary Bettman's attempts to sell the NHL in the deep south, secessionist Georgia gubernatorial candidate Neal Horsley has been ordered to stay at least 100 meters away from the Red Wings Johan Franzen.