The first 5,000 fans through the gate at the Pro Bowl get a milk carton with Bryant McKinnie's photo on it.

Kurt Warner caught me off guard with his retirement announcement.
I thought he'd called the press conference to announce he was changing his name to Trece.

Bad job: 2010 NFL Pro Bowl Program editor.

Prince's "Purple and Gold": was that supposed to inspire a football team to victory?
It sounded like a requiem mass for a Teletubby.

Oft-injured Portland Trail Blazers center Greg Oden apologized for nude photos of himself that have surfaced on the Internet.
In other news, Madonna announced a spring tour of Oregon.

The family of a member of the U.S.'s #1 ranked bobsled team lost $8000 in a rental scam at Whistler.
This is the most American money squandered on Olympics housing since the '98 hockey team lost their damage deposit in Nagano.

Headline: Erick Dampier and Theo Ratliff unsuccessfully try to set up 14th-year players vs 15th-year players game at NBA All-Star Weekend.

Did we really need a total-body scanner at Toronto's Pearson Airport to reveal Maple Leafs goalies massive five-holes?

Just one more weekend to get out of the way and it will finally be time for the Pro Bowl.

The New York Knicks didn't get much sleep in Oklahoma City, claiming their hotel was "haunted" and "scary".
When did Reggie Miller become a hotelier?

According to People magazine, Tiger Woods has checked into a sex rehab facility in Arizona for several weeks, and should be out by Valentine's Day.
Is that really the best time to release him?
That's like a gambling addict recovering just in time for the World Series of Poker.

The Detroit Pistons Ben Gordon scored the NBA's 10 millionth point Saturday night.
As befits the Pistons these days, their opponent - the Philadelphia 76ers - then scored the 10 millionth first through thirteenth points in NBA history.

Four Washington Wizards were fined $10,000 for smiling or laughing on the basketball court.
The Harlem Globetrotters are rethinking their spring tour itinerary.

An anti-BCS ad will air during the BCS Championship Game.
This is like Gary Bettman making an on-camera appearance in the Stanley Cup finals.

Washington fired Jim Zorn by escorting him out of their offices at 4:45am?
That appears to be the most carefully executed Redskins game plan of the year.