Kansas coach Turner Gill has banned his players from seeing women after 10pm during the week.
Boy, there's a loophole in that curfew you could drive a Pride Parade float through.

Michael Vick's comeback continues: he just won the NFC's Most Offensive Player of the Month award.

The CFL's Touchdown Atlantic was so successful, the NHL is now thinking of scheduling a regular season game between the Red Wings and Blackhawks in Toronto.

The Tampa Bay Rays are giving away 20,000 free tickets to their home finale.
The next step is to offer to pick people up at their homes in Tampa and drive them to the park and back.

The San Francisco Giants complained to the commissioner's office that the Colorado Rockies might be using "juiced balls".
Considering they were the home of Barry Bonds for the last 15 years of his career, the Giants should be considered experts on the subject.

Albert Haynesworth says he doesn't like the spotlight and just wants to "go to Wal-Mart and hang out".
If he keeps that up, he might get his wish once the playoffs start.

Headline: 30-team trade involving Carmelo Anthony gathers momentum.

David Beckham is suing the U.S. magazine In Touch over outrageous claims.
They allegedly reported the soccer star is making $6.5 million a year and over the past 3 seasons has scored 7 goals.

The Capitals and Penguins will be featured in a HBO reality show.
The Coyotes are also getting their own reality show; Survivor: Arizona.

The Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins are going to be featured on a HBO reality show.
Gary Bettman hopes it's going to be set in Las Vegas or a Caribbean island.

Bad news for Braylon Edwards: on Sunday he's likely going to have to sit out the first few songs of the ZZ Top concert.

Sunrise, FL - home of the Florida Panthers - disappeared from Google Maps for the 3rd time.
Is this endemic to Florida sports? No one's ever been able to find Tropicana Field.

NY Jets WR Braylon Edwards was arrested for DUI.
If it's anything like the rest of his career, the charges will be dropped.

The notoriously absentee MPs showed up in full force to preserve the long-gun registry by a 153-151 vote.
You won't see a contest decided by numbers that high in Ontario again until the Raptors host an NBA All-Star Game.

Visiting officials have expressed shock over the condition of the Athletes Village on the eve of the Commonwealth Games in Delhi.
Apparently, construction crews built an authentic Indian village.

Patrick Kane surprised a fan by personally delivering a car to the winner of a Blackhawks contest.
He was then stranded, as no cabbie would give him a ride home.

The FBI arrested a terror suspect after he left a fake bomb near Cubs offices in Chicago.
Isn't one Wrigley Field disaster a season enough?

Derek Jeter has his eye on the hardware: the Commissioner's Trophy and a Golden Globe.

The State Department has issued new travel warnings for northern Mexico, Israel and the New York Jets locker room.

Reggie Bush has returned the 2005 Heisman Trophy, saying he doesn't want to stain the dignity of the award.
Don't worry, Reggie, another USC running back already took care of that.

The NFL needs a feel good storyline after a dismal opening week.
Oh look, Mike Vick might have his first start after getting out of prison.

Ryan Leaf says he may be planning a comeback at age 34.
MMA or Dancing With The Stars?

Floyd Mayweather, Jr. was jailed briefly on a felony charge after his ex-girlfriend alleged he beat her during an argument.
Did he require her to take a blood test before they fought?

The NCAA is reportedly investigating violations with Tennessee basketball.
What did they do: send recruits a "Rocky Top"-singing Big Mouth Billy Bass?

LeBron James will attend the Miami-Ohio State football game.
I guess it's safe to say he won't be dotting the decimal point in Script Ohio.

Tom Brady got a 4-year extension from the Patriots.
Just in time, as his car insurance premiums are going up.

The NOAA says it has found no evidence of any "dead zones" along the Gulf Coast.
Dan Hampton says just wait until after the Vikings visit.

The Heisman Trophy Trust says there is no change in the status of Reggie Bush's award.
The trophy is still at Bush's on the weekends and with Kim Kardashian during the week.

Pittsburgh Steelers players declined to re-elect Ben Roethlisberger as a captain.
In other news, Lindsay Lohan was not elected president of the Screen Actors Guild.

Hamilton Tiger-Cats beat Toronto Argonauts 28-13 in The Battle For Wayne's World.

North Dakota State racked up 10 first downs and 168 yards of offense in a 6-3 win at Kansas.
It's a bad sign when the most exciting part of that Saturday is the drive home.

QB Jeremiah Masoli had his debut for Ole Miss, going 7-10 passing for 109 yards and 1 INT, and breaking his previous record of two hard drives.

Now that the booze has worn off, I bet the L.A. Kings wish the NHL would void Willie Mitchell's contract.

The latest MMA rankings are out, and the Washington Nationals Nyjer Morgan has passed James Toney.