Kobe Bryant has a verbal agreement to play basketball in Italy during the NBA lockout.
Unfortunately, Silvio Berlusconi won't issue him a work visa unless he brings the Laker Girls.

A Montreal man walked around the world in 11 years.
He would have made it in 10, but Zdeno Chara smashed his head into a lamppost.

Seattle Sounders supporters showed up en masse for the closing match at the Vancouver Whitecaps' Empire Field, chanting and singing in the stands for two hours.
I don't think they knew it was BC Hydro Family Night.

Florida Marlins closer Leo Nunez has allegedly been playing under an assumed name.
Adam Dunn is considering doing the same next season.

NASA said the satellite debris is down; no one was hit except one little chunk that bounced off Jose Canseco's head.

The NBA players union is showing strong solidarity.
Stars have pledged to pool their marijuana supplies to help lesser players get through the lockout.

Four people were arrested in the burglary of Manny Pacquiao's L.A. home.
If they stole his karaoke machine they should be given full pardons.

Miami hopes to avoid the NCAA's death penalty, and Maryland was hit with Mr. Blackwell's from-beyond-the-grave penalty.

Indianapolis hired Jim Tressel as a game day assistant.
Upcoming Colts promotion: first 5000 kids through the gate get a free tattoo.