We could be looking at "One Shining Eyebrow" Monday night.

Florida Gators point guard Erving Walker was arrested and charged with a misdemeanor after he got a $3 taco from a street vendor and then ran away without paying.
He's likely to get off lightly as he doesn't have a prior history of stealing; getting 0 in 32 minutes in the Gators West Regional final loss to Louisville.
When several marked patrol cars finally caught up with him, he said he was "just playing around".
How many clients does Jerry Sandusky's lawyer have?

Jamie Moyer - 49-years-old and coming off Tommy John surgery - was named the Colorado Rockies number-two starter.
This after being cut from the Phillies batting practice squad.

I'm not sure how hands-on Magic Johnson plans to be as a Dodgers owner, but he just named Sheila E. as general manager.

A truck crash in Ontario spilled $3 million in coins and candy across a highway.
Probably on its way to Ottawa to meet the details of Kyle Turris's contract.

Female volleyball players no longer have to wear bikinis in the Olympics.
Naturists everywhere are rejoicing. Guys are high-fiving.

The Louisville Cardinals logo appears to be an Angry Bird.
Too bad they can't play Arkansas in the Final Four.

Reports say Allen Iverson earned $200 million during his basketball career and is now broke.
Apparently he financed the movie John Carter.

The Texas Rangers unveiled their new 2-foot-long, $26 hot dog.
Just another reason Prince Fielder switched leagues.

The New Black Panthers have taken out a $10,000 bounty on Florida shooter George Zimmerman.
Confused Carolina coach Ron Rivera is worried about getting a call from Roger Goodell.

Louisville, Ohio State, Kentucky, Kansas.
Great Final Four...if you're a fan of the movie Deliverance.

Did the New Orleans Hornets have a bounty on the LA Clippers Blake Griffin?
If David Stern doesn't suspend Jason Smith, Roger Goodell probably will.

Something tells me the only Hi-Liter the Louisville basketball players have seen is their uniform color.

The Louisiana Republican primary is this Saturday.
I wonder which candidate wants the endorsement of Roger Goodell?

The New Orleans Saints hosting Super Bowl week this season will sort of be like Delta House throwing that toga party.

eBay's servers crashed Tuesday afternoon as millions of Broncos "Tebow 15" jerseys were listed at the same time.
What are they going to do with all those things that are just a few months old?
Convert them to sacks and Peyton can use them for bank trips.

Report from the Philippines: Manny Pacquiao says God has told him to retire.
Upon hearing the news, Tim Tebow said: "Why couldn't He have told Peyton Manning that?"

Vancouver Canucks owner Francesco Aquilini and his wife are going through a divorce.
They are currently embroiled in a custody battle over Mason Raymond.

After week 1, President Obama's NCAA bracket is in the 98th percentile at ESPN.
That's 48 points higher than his most recent approval rating in a Reuters poll.

A plant at the Royal Botanic Gardens in England bloomed for the first time in 40 years.
In Canada we call that the Maple Leafs.

News that Osama bin Laden spent his final days plotting to assassinate President Obama caused a brief rise in U.S. alert levels, as security was beefed up at basketball arenas around the country.

A gun battle interrupted a Mexican Baseball League exhibition game.
Spring Training: it's that time of year, where they decide who's going to throw out the Opening Day first grenade.

Penn State apologized for firing Joe Paterno by phone.
Carrier pigeon would have been more appropriate.

Tim Tebow is the favorite to appear on the cover of Madden 13.
Oh no, does that mean passing is going to be even more difficult?

Randy Moss is heading to the Bay Area.
That's San Francisco, not Montego Bay, unfortunately for Jamaican marijuana farmers.

The large signs Telus was making for the outside of BC Place may have been the deal breaker in the naming rights agreement.
Apparently, the signs said "Make Some Noise".

Headline: Charlotte Bobcats denied NCAA tournament bid.

Overseeded: Georgetown, Wisconsin, Octomom.

Barry Switzer's life story is being adapted into a Hollywood feature film.
Theaters will only accept ticket payments in the form of cash in envelopes.

Loneliest people in the sports world this weekend: the incumbent QB on whatever team Peyton Manning signs with, and scalpers outside the Staples Center at the Pac-12 tourney.

The Knicks got smoked on the road by the Spurs.
New York hasn't won in San Antonio since 2003.
The only ones with a longer drought winning there is the Mexican Army.

A former Toronto Argonauts defensive lineman said bounties are alive and well in the CFL.
The players pay each other out in Canadian Tire money.

The Royal Canadian Mint has issued a $10 commemorative coin depicting the Titanic heading ominously toward an iceberg.
I trust the Canadian ice making team won't bury it at the next international hockey tournament for good luck.

St. Mary's beat Gonzaga in OT to win the West Coast Conference basketball tournament.
Shouldn't that have been the play-in for the Pac-12 championship game?

I'm not saying the Saints were taking out contracts on opposing players, but they just placed their franchise tag on Vincent Vega.

More New Orleans bounty revelations: Drew Brees was giving teammates beads if he could see them topless.

Dwyane Wade has patched things up after his hard foul in the NBA All-Star Game.
He bought Kobe some jewellery.