Michael Phelps has won so many medals, he's now ready to join the cast of Jersey Shore.

This parade of nations is interminable. Could they compete as continents next time?

The commentators kept calling these the first Twitter games.
Actually, if it wasn't for the IOC rules, it would have been the first Instagrames.

Greece marched first in the Opening Ceremony because they had to return their rental outfits on time.

I've heard some promo spots for the Olympics playing "London's Burning" from The Clash's debut album.
Given the security concerns, is that really the best music to hype people for the Games?
Who's lighting the flame - Guy Fawkes?

I like those pictograms for each Olympic event.
I've seen those people help indicate which washroom door I should go into.
Nice to see them out getting some exercise.

That North Korean mystery woman with Kim Jong-un? Turns out it's the first lady.
The state news agency reported she scored 5 goals in the women's soccer team's opening round 2-0 win over Colombia.

President Obama has spent $6.5 million on ads during the Olympics; Mitt Romney none.
Apparently, Romney is boycotting the games until polo, falconry and fox-hunting are included.

IOC fines U.S. and France for starting Olympics before Opening Ceremonies.

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists just moved the Columbus Blue Jackets doomsday clock to 5 minutes to midnight.

Yankees pitchers D.J. Mitchell and Danny Farquhar coming over in the Ichiro trade are pissed off their X-box and PlayStation games won't work on the Mariners clubhouse game consoles.

When he heard Nash to New York, Carmelo Anthony wanted to reiterate that it's his team.

Spain's Olympic outfits look like they're working a fast food drive-thru window.

President Barack Obama and vice-president Joe Biden were in the audience for the U.S. men's basketball team's exhibition game versus Brazil.
It was a big night for the U.S.'s third-in-command, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, as it was the first time she was left alone to monitor a Washington Senators game.
The White House has a "No Game Left Unwatched" program.

Kings goalie Jonathan Bernier just appeared in a bit part in a commercial shot in L.A.
But he said what he really wants to do is direct.

All-Star game scorecards end up looking like Jackson Pollock paintings.

Calling the Major League Baseball All-Star Game the most meaningful of the all-star games is like calling Ernest Goes To Camp the key film to understanding the Ernest series.

Big surprise for Ryan Suter and Zach Parise Monday afternoon at the Minnesota Wild introductory press conference.
Those supposed matching contracts?
That was one for both of them.

Kansas City fans weren't booing Robinson Cano; they were mispronouncing his last name as "canoe".

Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson has given up on keeping the NBA Kings and instead says he will focus on bringing a Major League Baseball team to the California capital.
And if that doesn't work, he'll go after an English Premier League soccer team.

Nigeria's basketball team made the Olympics for the first time.
Fans are urged to watch their e-mail inboxes for ticket offers.

Five scientists contributed to the Higgs Boson breakthrough but the Nobel Prize for Science is traditionally only given to a maximum of 3 people.
If the judging panel is stuck, Tony La Russa says he's available to cast the deciding vote.

NBA Point Guards right now = musical wheelchairs.

Jason Kidd will mentor Jeremy Lin at the Knicks point guard position?
He's so old this is starting to look like Karate Kidd.

MLB has figured a way to sort out all the All-Star Game roster controversies.
The Higgs Boson research team has been assigned to it.

Why is the Hammer Throw a legit Olympic event, but not the Home Run Derby?
The Hammer Throw originated in the middle ages when a guy was building his house and hit his thumb instead of a nail.

The Canadian women's basketball team qualified for the final Olympic berth by beating Japan.
The Japanese women were hindered by their Hello Kitty backpacks.

They're calling Spain the great new soccer dynasty.
Of course they are: the young guys there have so much free time to practice.