The San Antonio Spurs are in trouble with the NBA after they sent Manu Ginobili home to flop in Texas.

The Yankees are re-signing Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera.
They - and their accountant - are going to party like it's 1999.

Bizarre fact dept.: the Philadelphia Phillies have won a game more recently than the Eagles.
The Washington Capitals have won a game more recently than the Wizards.

Vegas saying Notre Dame would be underdogs to 6 SEC teams.
Reno saying Notre Dame would be welcome at early bird buffets before 6.

Two Seattle Seahawks cornerbacks face suspension for using the drug Adderall.
Of course they used it - it's a mood enhancer.
Have you seen the Pacific Northwest weather at this time of year?

The Powerball lottery is now at a record $425 million.
The Yankees are thinking of out-bidding it.

The Toronto Argonauts victory parade is slated for Tuesday, after which the team will be presented the key to Scarborough.

Saturday, December 1: Nicholls State (1-9) at Oregon State (8-3).
Call it The Uncivil War.

The NHL has cancelled the 2013 All-Star Weekend in Columbus.
Those pops you heard were the sound of hockey reporters around North America uncorking Champagne bottles.
Late January in central Ohio is the sports media's equivalent of a Siberian Gulag.

I am skeptical about this new O.J. documentary that claims a serial killer killed Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman.
What do we really know about the producer, "P.J. Plimpton"?

An Ontario billboard for an anti-prostitution campaign misdirected people to a pornography website.
That province has had similar problems before, including a NHL Playoffs billboard that sent people to the Maple Leafs site.

Hamas and Israel came to an agreement before Bettman and Fehr.

Jack Taylor has jumped up on the Charlotte Bobcats draft board.

Roller coaster week for the Montreal Alouettes: they lost the East Final but then joined the Big Ten Conference.

A Toronto hockey fan paid $5300 for the team's dressing room toilet from the old Maple Leaf Gardens.
Its been so long since they've seen it, he probably thought it was the Stanley Cup.

Rutgers and Maryland mark the Big Ten's first expansion into disaster zones since Ohio.

Irony: the Steelers are dressed like inmates and Ben Roethlisberger is not playing.

Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez is trying to line up Wii U for a future out-of-conference schedule.

Bud Selig's taking so long to review the Jays-Marlins trade, they are going to turn the decision over to Florida election officials.

You are really unprepared if you haven't bought gloves in Calgary by mid-November.
Forget a suspension - he's lucky he's not on the disabled list with frostbite.

Calgary Stampeders coach John Huffnagel told his players not to tweet until the playoffs are over.
Now Nik Lewis won't shut up during Halo.

Massive trade between the Marlins and Blue Jays.
Miami owner Jeffrey Loria wanted to throw in Fort Lauderdale, but Ontarians have already taken that over.

Gary Bettman just voted the Miami Marlins MLB Executives of the Year.

The LA Lakers hired Mike D'Antoni as their new coach after Phil Jackson missed their phone call because he and Siri were meditating together.

Jacksonville is 1-8 and averaging 14 points a game.
Their offence is about as expertly-directed as a Jack Link's Beef Jerky Sasquatch commercial.

Both college basketball games on aircraft carriers Friday night were cancelled due to moisture on the court.
Those aren't aircraft carriers - they're submarines!

College basketball season opened with Connecticut upsetting Michigan State at an Air Force base in Germany.
I was surprised to see the winner of that game got a trophy.
Kuwait.
Kind of a land grant.

I keep hearing baseball's new drug problem is fast-actin' synthetic testosterone.
Don't worry; they won't be in business long once the Tinactin people hear their marketing slogan.

USC fired a student manager who under-inflated footballs in an attempt to make them easier to grip and throw.
You're playing Oregon and scheming ways to make the game more offensive? Good strategy.
Next time the Ducks come to town, move the game to the La Brea Tar Pits.

The LA Lakers fired coach Mike Brown after he received the Kobe Bryant death stare.
Kobe recently also glared at Mitt Romney and the producers of Cloud Atlas.

Tour de France winner Bradley Wiggins was released from hospital after a van knocked him off his bike during a training ride.
Must have felt uncomfortable around all those syringes and blood bags.

The Lakers have started 1-4 after shooting under 34% against the Jazz.
They currently have less range than a plant mister.

Washington and Colorado voted to legalize marijuana.
Half the NBA has since requested a trade to the Nuggets.

Controversy in Washington, DC on the eve of the election, as Mike Shanahan said both the Democrats and Republicans should reevaluate and focus on 2016.

Major bigfoot sighting on video from Utah's Provo Canyon forest.
On the scene investigating are a local reporter, cryptozoologists, and a BYU assistant coach.

Great job with Kansas State by Bill Snyder, who looks like Santa's accountant.

What's with all the empty seats at Nascar, or do the students arrive late and leave early?

A school board member wants to ban high school football in New Hampshire.
This will come as crushing news to college recruiting coordinators everywhere.
"Don't cut off that talent pipeline!"

The NHL cancelled the Winter Classic.
It's a complex series of actions to do that.
Gary Bettman's first phone call was to his travel agent, changing his New Year's plans from Detroit to Aruba.

The LA Lakers were 0-8 in the exhibition season and have started off 0-2.
Princeton University says the bad publicity is killing their recruiting.
Please, tell people you're running the Penn Offense.

The Kansas City Chiefs haven't led during any game they've played this season.
It's like my mother playing Halo.

Did you see where the Steelers are going to fly into New York on game day to play the Giants?
Apparently, they are declaring Byron Leftwich as carry-on baggage.

The postponed Knicks-Nets game has been rescheduled for Thanksgiving weekend.
I think if the Pilgrims had to watch the Knicks and Nets play, they would have turned around and gone back to England.

Barack Obama sent me a direct message through Twitter on Thursday.
"Who should I activate on my fantasy team for Heat-Knicks Friday night?"

The World Series ratings were so low, they made Bristol Palin: Life's A Tripp look like Cheers.