"You have a friend for life," Dennis Rodman told North Korea leader Kim Jong-un.
Did he say that, or have Randy Newman sing it for him?

Papal commentators said "he looks old...there's very little vigor there".
This was also overheard at Yankees spring training.

The trade for Alex Smith was the biggest deal in Missouri since the Louisiana Purchase.

The Cincinnati Reds are trying to convert pitcher Aroldis Chapman from closer to starter.
He says the toughest part so far has been giving up coffee.

Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria says they have a "championship calibre team".
Are they competing with the C's in the Northwest League this year?

A B.C. youth hockey coach received 15 days in prison and 12 months probation for tripping a player.
Brendan Shanahan would have let him off with just a warning, but he's not based in Chicago, New York or Boston.

Alabama offered an eighth-grader a football scholarship.
He's already reading at the same level as most of the players on the team.

A lot of criticism over Manti Te'o's 4.82 40 at the combine.
Look at the bright side: that was in high heels.

The Saturday crash at Daytona was caused by a blocking move.
But no blocking move was bigger than the one on the infield Sunday, when 50 Cent tried to hone in on Erin Andrews for a lip kiss.

Cardinal Keith O'Brien, Britain's most senior Roman Catholic, resigned after allegations of "inappropriate behaviour".
Betting on Arsenal in Champions League?

Is there anyone in South Africa not facing homicide charges?

They've traced the cause of that crazy crash at Daytona Saturday.
The drivers were hurrying to get to a bar to watch women fight on UFC.

Florida State's E.J. Manuel declared at the NFL Scouting Combine that he was the best QB in the draft.
He also predicted Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters would win the Best Picture Oscar.

The Knicks signed Kenyon Martin to a 10-year contract.
No, wait - a 10-day contract.
Sorry, just force of habit over the years.

ESPN is close to signing a deal to broadcast Big East games through 2020.
The only problem is there may not be any teams left in the Big East by then.
The conference membership is shrinking faster than Italy's GDP.

Eastern Washington University football mistakenly thinks it's hosting the Oscar red carpet.

When I heard Brian Burke was joining the scouts, my first thought was: "Kansas City's getting a franchise back?"

The Sacramento Kings dumped rookie Thomas Robinson, the #5 pick in last year's draft.
You know how before people move, sometimes they sell stuff so it's less work and less expensive?
I think the Kings are using Craigslist.

Now a detective who was working on the Oscar Pistorius case faces an attempted murder charge?!?
These South African cops make Ace Ventura look like James Bond.

The Combine is a screening process for these football players wanting to become millionaires.
If Manti Te'o is stumped by an interview question, can he ask to use a lifeline?
Phone-a-Friend.

David Booth thought Hansen's 1-game suspension was a little harsh.
While Hossa was down on the ice, Jannik didn't even pose for a photo with him.

Commentators keep referring to the brief interviews at the NFL Scouting Combine as like "speed dating".
I don't think this is going to help Manti Te'o's mindset.

Quite the backlash against the IOC dropping wrestling from the Olympics.
One fan, as a form of protest, vowed to watch his first wrestling match.

A decision on NHL players going to Sochi is not expected this week.
There's been a delay while they check out long-term meteor shower forecasts.

Kamloops, B.C.'s Kelly Olynyk should cross-dress for Halloween and go as Lady Gonzaga.

It will be interesting to see where Manti Te'o is drafted in Fantasy Leagues.
Could be the perfect linebacker for them.

Seattle signed Felix Hernandez to the largest contract ever awarded a pitcher, which includes ownership of the Space Needle, Pike Place Market, SAM, the Experience Music Project and the Fremont Troll.

People are really upset about wrestling being dropped from the Olympics.
Vince McMahon said he's going to hit someone over the head with a folding chair.

Carmelo Anthony suffered an arm contusion and may not be healthy for the All-Star Game Sunday.
Unfortunately, it's his arm that waves for a pass.

The IOC has dropped wrestling from the Olympics.
Which is ridiculous; after soccer, Brazil's most popular sport is mixed-pairs wrestling.

Pope Benedict XVI announced he will resign at the end of February.
Obviously wants to devote his full energy to following March Madness.

The Miami Marlins had four people show up to buy advanced single-game tickets when they went on sale.
I'm starting to think the long-term viability of MLB in south Florida has been EXPOS-ed.

The San Francisco Giants are planning Metallica Night at AT&T Park for Friday, May 3.
The metal rock band legends will sing the anthem and throw out the first pitch.
After Barry Bonds and Melky Cabrera, it's good to see the Giants are putting their long history of association with substance abuse behind them.

Notre Dame beat Louisville after 5 overtimes in the longest regular-season game in Big East history.
To put this in perspective: it was almost as long as a Manti Te'o-Lennay Kekua fake phone call.

Several Knicks were reportedly quite unhappy about having to stay overnight in Minneapolis due to the blizzard in the northeast.
In the old NBA days, players used to look forward to white powder on a Friday night.

The Bruins traded goalie Tim Thomas to the Islanders.
Thomas immediately refused to meet with the mayor of Uniondale.

Lindsey Vonn set for knee surgery; vows to return for 2014 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

For live coverage of the SEC on National Signing Day, go to eBay.

Michigan and Northwestern will play baseball on April 20 at Wrigley Field.
4/20? Maybe they can get A-Rod to throw out the first pitch.

Beyonce has 16 Grammys.
Antonio Cromartie's kids are not impressed.

CBS lost audio after the halftime show.
Now if they could just get Beyonce to sing a song on Two and a Half Men.

CBS reported that Jim Harbaugh wouldn't come out for a post-game interview.
He finally did, saw his shadow, and that means he'll be pissed off for 6 more weeks.

The power outage after the Super Bowl halftime show was evidence that lip-synching conserves energy.

Ray Lewis' eye black sucked all the light out of the Superdome.

Texas offensive coordinator Major Applewhite admitted to an inappropriate relationship with a student.
The athletic department was going to throw the book at him, but no one could find one.