The Omaha Beef of the Champions Professional Indoor Football League have offered Tim Tebow a contract for $75 per game.
They sent his agent a contract in a vacuum-packed, polystyrene box.

Jason Collins joins Matt Barkley as the second athlete this week who should have come out earlier.

Iraq has suspended the licences of Al Jazeera and 9 other channels, accusing them of inciting violence through their news coverage.
Instead of promoting violence, they plan to air the Leafs-Bruins and Sens-Habs series.

A pair of runners were handed lifetime bans from the Vancouver Sun Run for cheating.
They allegedly took a city bus to gain an unfair advantage, but ended up falling even further off the pace.
Also received a fine from transit police cause their transfers had expired.

Tulsa, OK is bidding to host the 2024 Summer Olympics.
Early favorites for gold: the US, Canada and Argentina in calf-roping.

Don Cherry says female reporters shouldn't be allowed in male dressing rooms.
He also doesn't believe fashion consultants should be allowed in clothing store change rooms.

The Tigers Don Kelly is batting .095.
That's the same swing-to-contact ratio as Shelley Duvall on the staircase in The Shining.

4 out of 7 Canadian teams have qualified for the NHL playoffs.
That's the highest percentage since last year's CFL season.

Had to be tough being Geno Smith Thursday night.
It's ironic they call it the Green Room when the Benjamins are disappearing by the minute.

Ottawa, which is slated to begin play in 2014, will have four picks in the 2013 CFL Draft May 6.
What's worse: being traded for a player to be named later, or drafted by a team to be named later?

Manti Te'o not selected in the first round.
Had to kill him to have to leave that phone line open for 24 hours.

"With the 5th pick of the 2013 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Steve Urkel."

The Vancouver Whitecaps got a leg up in their Canadian Championship semi-final with Edmonton.
And Camilo established himself as a contender for next year's Oscars.

Liverpool's Luis Suarez bit someone again; this time Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic on the arm Sunday.
Would somebody feed this guy?
You're supposed to have sliced oranges at halftime in soccer; not fava beans and a nice Chianti.

The NBA playoffs started on 4/20.
It's like we're living in some fantasy world dreamt up by pizzeria owners.

The Maple Leafs are back in the hunt for Lord Stanley's mug!
I remember all the fun we had online the last time they were in the playoffs...the banter on Friendster, Prodigy and CompuServe.

The NHL will stage a 6-game "Stadium Series" next season, including the Kings and Ducks at Dodger Stadium on January 25th.
Los Angeles County lifeguards will be on hand to make sure no players drown.

Terrific Masters finish.
Was Adam Scott putting with a bunker rake?
Kobe Bryant wants to borrow that thing for a cane.

It was like a giant movie promotion Monday as baseball had all players wear "42" on the back of their jerseys.
Except the Miami Marlins, whose jersey backs read "Scary Movie 5".

In video news, Tiger Woods will replace Carmelo Anthony as the star in Stop Snitching 2: Scorecard Bugaloo.

Tiger Woods was penalized two strokes at The Masters after a viewer called Augusta National to report a rules violation.
The NHL is thinking of establishing a similar hotline for officiating mistakes, but it will be a 1-900 number.

Why are American officials being tougher on the 14-year-old Chinese golfer than the leader of North Korea?
I guess you've gotta choose your battles.

Detroit Tigers send bullpen to hospital for suspected Achilles Heel.

14-year-old phenom Tianlang Guan was given a 1-stroke penalty for slow play at The Masters Friday after his parents insisted he take a quick break for his violin lesson.

Wednesday's White Sox at Nationals game was delayed 15 minutes due to umps stuck in D.C. traffic.
Probably caught up in Barack Obama's security detail driving from the golf course back home for his Master's fantasy draft.

The tinkling of pianos, smell of fresh flowers and people yelling "Get in the hole!". The Masters, or dinner date?

Quick quiz: in college basketball, "40 Minutes Of Hell" refers to A) Nolan Richardson's Arkansas teams, or B) Dick Vitale calling a Duke game.

Floyd Mayweather has $16.7 million on Michigan +4.
About equal to Manny Pacquiao's old annual cockfighting budget.

The Clippers swept their season series with the Lakers 4-zip and clinched the Pacific Division title.
It was the first time a Clipper had won anything since Michael Olowakandi pumped $400 into one of those stuffed animal claw crane games.

The deal for an outdoor NHL game in Dodger Stadium is nearly done.
Apparently, they will play at night and the refrigeration system will keep the ice cool enough if there's no direct sunlight.
No direct sunlight?
I guess the untapped L.A. demo the Kings are targeting is goths and vampire cults.
The Lost Boys of Summer.

Hot rumour: 4 Charlotte Bobcats are going to hold a joint press conference and announce they are really skilled basketball players.

I hope Rodman tells Oddjob to wait until after the Final Four before he tries to wreck the world.

The Miami Heat's Chris Bosh had live camels at his birthday.
Apparently, those Ishtar-theme parties have really caught on.
The celebration cost a ton of money and got mixed reviews.

Reports say North Korea has 2 missiles loaded.
Sales of Dodgers and Angels batting helmets are spiking.

The Vancouver Canucks may be the only company whose solution to an employee partying too much is to send him to Chicago for a week.

Would anyone like Roberto Luongo?
The Vancouver Canucks will trade him for a bag of hockey pucks, a parking pass, or some poutine.

The Astros joined the A.L. and beat the Rangers in baseball's opener Sunday to win the in-state trophy.
It's a canteen containing the last litre of water left in Texas.

Fun fact: Michigan has more living alumni than anyone except Shawn Kemp.

Part of Detroit Metro airport was shut down after a bomb scare.
It was just Nik Stauskas' shot returning to Michigan.

Opening Day in the Mexican League last week.
It was Decapitated Bobblehead Night.