Ottawa's CFL team will be named the RedBlacks.
RedBlacks and Gee-Gees...why did Ottawa hire Sesame Street as their football branding consultants?

For this next round of the NHL playoffs, Ohio State president Gordon Gee slips into the guest chair operating the LA Kings Twitter account, replacing Sergio Garcia.

Soccer is like 6th-grade dating; it's not all about scoring.

The Rangers fired head coach John Tortorella.
The New York Post's Larry Brooks gave him a lift to the airport.

Dwyane Wade took out the Pacers Lance Stephenson in Game 2 with a flying elbow to the temple.
Later, Wade announced he's changing his name to World B. Floored.

Driver Marcos Ambrose said running over that loose camera cable during the Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway "was like getting attacked by a giant squid".
It's great when people make analogies to experiences they couldn't possibly know anything about.
Like a NASCAR fan claiming their sport is as addictive as meth.
Oh, wait a minute...

Suddenly, Rob Ford's drop-back fall at that Grey Cup press event makes more sense.

Hockey Canada bans bodychecking at the peewee level.
Hopefully this extends to parents in the stands.

Indiana Pacers broadcaster Mark Boyle blasted Miami fans for leaving AmericanAirlines Arena down 3 near the end of the game Friday night, saying "they don't deserve any team".
I don't know; if you go by that reasoning, you could make a case they deserve the Panthers, Marlins, Dolphins and Hurricanes.

Great Champions League Final.
Next match: Bayern vs New York Red Bulls/FC Dallas winner for the world title.

The Memphis Grizzlies' Tony Allen was fined $5000 for flopping under the NBA's stronger new postseason rule.
But the best part is it happened on an arm-tug foul by Manu Ginobili.
That is like Yoda and Luke master-apprentice level irony there.

Jonathan Toews spent the 2nd period in the penalty box Thursday.
There hasn't been a captain get that long a time-out since Mutiny On The Bounty.

The 49ers Michael Crabtree might be out for the season after getting injured at Tuesday's OTA.
Apparently, OTA stands for "Oh-oh, torn Achilles".

Was Sergio Garcia operating the LA Kings Twitter account Tuesday night?

Nice try: John Calipari tried to get Kentucky into the NBA Draft Lottery.

Rough bit of karaoke in Saskatoon at the Memorial Cup Saturday. Botched Star-Spangled Banner.
The singer has returned to her day job as Rob Ford's PR spokesperson.

Yahoo is buying photo-sharing website Tumblr for $1.1 billion.
That's the same value as the New York Knicks, but they haven't figured out sharing yet.

The Knicks Jason Kidd in the playoffs: I haven't seen that many zeros since Vince Young took the Wonderlic test.

The Charlotte Bobcats are changing their name back to the Hornets.
Marketing move or witness protection program?

Rumors are the Vancouver Canucks will be after Raffi Torres yet again this summer.
So the headhunter becomes the headhunted.

Alex Edler on Eric Staal: the worst hit in Sweden since ABBA's final album.

Some horrific attendance at the World Hockey Championships.
I don't think Tampa and Miami should host again.

Ironic that during the exact hour Chris Hadfield dropped through the atmosphere, it was Leafs fans who couldn't breathe.

Derrick Rose's least favorite band: Rush.

Updated sabermetrics for the Red Sox Clay Buchholz: WAR 2.5, SPF 30.

The Seattle group upped its bid for the Sacramento Kings to $625 million.
That's the biggest-dollar Washington attempt at a California acquisition since Microsoft bought Yammer.
I wonder if this latest offer will reboot the deal or crash.

Vinny Testaverde and Chris Weinke claim to have fixed Tim Tebow's throwing motion by correcting his footwork.
This is on your resume while you're looking for a job?
Right above listing Joey Harrington as PR coach and JaMarcus Russell as nutritionist.

Should be a nice Mother's Day in the Bryant household.
Kobe taking legal action to get his mom to stop selling his sports memorabilia.
Isn't that the oldest story in the book? My mother threw out my sports cards.
Sports memorabilia...Kobe's mom should give thanks O.J.'s not her son.

At the World Hockey Championships in Helsinki Thursday, France defeated Russia.
Well, that only took 200 years.

Redskins owner Dan Snyder said the team will never, ever change their name.
That's too bad - I think Maryland Redskins sounds way better.

J.A. Happ receiving get well wishes from all over.
Angel Hernandez sent him a note saying he hopes his foot is better soon.

Bobrovsky, Lundqvist, Niemi: Vezina Trophy finalists or biathlon medallists?

R.A. Dickey is 2-5 and the Toronto Blue Jays are 11-21.
Worst start since Donnie Wahlberg in The Sixth Sense.

There's been a lot of talk about a proposed second MLS franchise in New York City.
For demographic marketing purposes, I hope the team name is the Cosmos.
It would be great to see people thinking they were named after a cocktail on Sex And The City.

Orb was just awarded the cover of EA Sports Horse Race 14.

Is there a hip-hop version of "My Old Kentucky Home"?

The Chicago Cubs owner threatened to leave Wrigley Field if their stadium renovation plan is denied.
They do realize that's the only reason anyone goes to Cubs games, don't they? To hang out at Wrigley.
The Cubs without Wrigley would be like the SI swimsuit issue without photos.

The SEC unveiled its own network which will begin broadcasting in August 2014.
They plan to air football, basketball, and endless reruns of Dukes of Hazzard.

Reports say Geno Smith was texting and tweeting during pre-draft meetings with NFL teams.
One of them was probably to his agent, saying "I better go #1 overall - or else".

The New York Knicks have achieved the impossible: they're even less likeable than the Miami Heat.

What will end up being more lifeless in the 3rd: the Vancouver Canucks Wednesday night or the upcoming Hangover movie?