The poster for the upcoming IMAX re-release of Titanic has a new tag line: "We Are All Canucks".

Kentucky, Florida, Wisconsin...is this the Final Four or a remake of Deliverance?

Bucks-Pistons play Monday after the 76ers crushed the Pistons Saturday.
Is this some sort of reverse Final Four going on?

The Blue Jays swept their two-game exhibition series versus the Mets at Olympic Stadium.
In retrospect, maybe the Leafs should have scheduled some March home games at the Bell Centre.

The Expos mascot Youppi was back at the Big O.
Good to see Harry Knowles making public appearances.

Dayton coach Archie Miller looks like a guy you'd see rooting in the student section.

The Oakland A's clubhouses are already flooding with sewage backup.
Time to re-post the old signs: "Needles go in wastebaskets - not toilets".

Desean Jackson dropped from the Eagles amidst rumours of gang involvement.
The Raiders may be interested in the wide receiver.
What better place to get away from gangs than Oakland?
This is like Rex Ryan going to work at Foot Locker.

The Ottawa Redblacks introduced their mascot, Big Joe, on skates.
Already prepared for November Ottawa field conditions.

Sean Avery booted from Dancing With The Stars after he brought a stick and tripped the other contestants.
Could have been worse: if he'd made the finals and botched it, he would've finished a sloppy second.

Forbes magazine named Derek Jeter the 11th greatest leader in the world.
This is just going to piss off Putin even more.
Goodbye Staten Island.

A Vincent Lecavalier shot went post-crossbar-post and out.
That's rare for an NHL player: to hit three bars without scoring.

A half-blind security guard at One World Trade Center got fired for sleeping on the job.
He's gone back to his other part-time gig: officiating college basketball games.

The NFL found a way to make their all-star weekend even more boring: no dunk contest.

New Texas head coach Charlie Strong is forbidding his players from throwing up the "hook 'em horns" sign with their hands yet.
Meanwhile, Austin is being dropped from the tour itineraries of heavy metal bands.

San Antonio Spurs staying at Berkeley, CA's Claremont Hotel got spooked when they heard babies crying behind closed doors.
That's a common scare for athletes - they've been haunting Shawn Kemp for years.

Clemson fans stormed the court after beating Belmont in the quarterfinals of the NIT.
Did some joker release a bunch of snakes in the stands?

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers will host the 2015 Grey Cup, which is of great interest to scientists studying how humans will survive on the surface of Mars.

The Durham Bulls unveiled R2-D2 uniforms the team will wear on May 4.
The jersey projects an image of the team's marketing manager saying: "Help us - you're our only hope."

At this year's big dance, Duke wasn't the belle of the ball.

Fiji beat South Africa 33-26 in the Rugby 7s final in Japan.
Suva is partying like Dayton, Ohio.

The Major League Baseball season officially got underway.
A Dodger fan has already attacked someone with a boomerang.

Michigan basketball coach John Beilein got lost walking back to his Milwaukee hotel after the Wolverines NCAA Tourney-opening win.
Milwaukee, huh? I guess after awhile all the breweries and bowling alleys start to look the same.
This seems to be a recurring basketball problem in Milwaukee: the Bucks have had trouble finding the hoop all season.

Mercer-Duke had even more viewers than Duke's recent student videos.

The Dodgers and Diamondbacks are in Australia getting ready to begin the baseball season.
I'm looking forward to an Aussie Rules Football opener in L.A. between the Melbourne Demons and Sydney Swans.

Dayton upset Ohio State by one point in the NCAA Tourney opener.
It's the biggest story in Ohio since Walmart's holiday canned food drive for its employees.

The University of Hawaii hired their Athletic Director from Ohio State, and now they are under NCAA investigation for recruiting violations.
The pineapple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Ukraine announced it is pulling out of hosting the 2015 European Basketball Championship.
Is that a last-ditch effort to get Obama's attention?

It feels like the 76ers and Bucks should be in one of the NCAA Tourney play-in games.

Michigan Athletic Director Dave Brandon says that Michigan Stadium will remain alcohol-free.
Now we know why school president Mary Sue Coleman is stepping down.

A Lego robot set a record by solving Rubik's Cube in 3.5 seconds.
That thing's just lucky Carmelo Anthony is focusing on chess.

Brandon Weeden has signed with the Dallas Cowboys.
Some people will do anything to get Final Four tickets.

The Dodgers are reluctantly heading Down Under to open their season against the Diamondbacks.
Carl Crawford got to stay behind as he is an expecting dad.
When Yasiel Puig heard that, he immediately announced he was pregnant.

Amazing comeback by the Habs Saturday.
The Senators with all the closing skill of A.C. Green in a Dubai singles bar.

The Knicks don't have a first round pick in this year's draft.
If they did, they would probably just mail the rest of the season in - in a frozen envelope.

Phil Jackson will lead the New York Knicks forward as team president.
Future film rights to this saga have been acquired by James Cameron.

10-19 Cal Poly swept through the Big West tournament to get to 13-19 and a NCAA bid.
Just 7 more victories away from a national championship - and a winning record.

The Canucks team bus broke down Friday in Washington.
No worries, though: they traded it for a rickshaw.

Will Steve Nash go into the Hall Of Fame dressed as a Sun, Maverick, or that banker guy from Monopoly?

New York Knicks management is so bad they'd prefer the team is run by Phil Jackson Skyping from Malibu.

Jonathan Martin got traded from the Dolphins to the 49ers.
I wonder what pranks they will play on the new guy?

Ohio State with another bad outside shooting day; 1-14 in the Big Ten Tourney opener.
You'd think with all the correspondence courses they'd be better at acing things from distance.

Fox Sports is referring to "March Mayhem" in its updates.
Did a mental health rights group ask them to change the phrase?

Hiring Phil Jackson is apparently like choosing a new pope.
We get an answer when we see smoke signals from his teepee in Montana.

Best wishes to the Stars' Rich Peverley on a full recovery.
The Canucks third period against the Islanders was only the second biggest collapse of the night.

Did the Denver Broncos have a job booth set up at the Pro Bowl?

Soccer's World Cup without the US and Russia?
Like holding the Stanley Cup Playoffs without the Sabres and Flames.

Some US senators have asked FIFA to kick Russia out of this year's World Cup in Rio.
Russian politicians responded by asking FIFA to kick the US out of the World Cup.
There's only one solution: switch the draw up so they are in the same group.

Alex Burrows scored his 1st goal of the year.
He only needs 91 more to tie Gretzky's single-season record.

Shares of LA Galaxy jersey sponsor Herbalife were halted from trading after the FTC reportedly opened an investigation.
Ironically, right when the team was installing the Pyramid offence.

Vancouver: the only city where sports fans watch soccer to see more goal-scoring.

Dallas was the site of the original inspiration for the birth of the bobble head doll: JFK.

The Florida Panthers went ahead with Tim Thomas Bobblehead Night Sunday, 4 days after he was traded to Dallas.
In honour of his White House invitation, the figure's head shakes side-to-side instead of up and down.

Saw a headline that said "Cavs: 1 seed unlikely", and thought "yeah, I wouldn't rank Cleveland that high in the NCAA Tourney, either".

New York Red Bull Thierry Henry became the latest big name in the soccer world to skip a game at BC Place because of the turf.
Who ever thought Vancouver would suffer from a lack of grass?

Good thing the LA Clippers (142) didn't play Northwestern (32) Thursday night.

The Lakers were the home team against the Clippers.
Imagine what the score would have been on the road.

The Clippers beat the Lakers 142-94.
That was a larger number gap than between Jack Nicholson and his date.

Wake Forest 82 Duke 72.
The Demon Deacons upset the Blue Devils to win the Satanic Bible Belt Championship.

The Roberto Luongo-Tim Thomas duo ended faster than a Kardashian marriage.

Eddie Lack and Jacob Markstrom: goalie controversy in Vancouver!

Maybe Luongo will finally get to start an outdoor game at Sun Life Stadium.
Panthers-Lightning in the Orange Bowl?

Austria will be the answer to a bar bet/trivia Q years from now: Name the last team Roberto Luongo beat before he was traded?

The new U.S. men's soccer kit for the 2014 World Cup was released.
All-white and looking like ghosts, befitting a team destined to make an early exit in Rio.

12 Years A Slave: The Roberto Luongo Story

The Las Vegas Wranglers wore Spider-Man uniforms Saturday night.
Considering they are dead last in the ECHL, the movie series isn't the only franchise that might benefit from a reboot.

Barack Obama has warned Vladimir Putin not to stir up anything else that requires his attention until after the NCAA Basketball Tournament.

#1 NFL Draft running back prospect Buckeye Carlos Hyde reportedly got a 9 on the Wonderlic test.
At Ohio State, that is Class Valedictorian.

Did Allen Iverson "practice" his jersey retirement speech?

"Movie 43" was named the worst film of 2013 at The Razzie Awards.
They never should have made a sequel to the Jackie Robinson story.

Pat LaFontaine resigned from Buffalo less than four months after taking charge.
The Sabres turnover presidents faster than the Ukraine.

Canada drew into a foursome with North Korea for the FIFA Under-20 Women's World Cup.
Does that count as the Group of Death?

Sharknado 2 is filming at the New York Mets' Citi Field, which is the perfect spot to shoot a laughable disaster movie.
In the film scouting world, that is what's known as a "hot location".

The Canucks are honouring their heritage of goalie controversies.

It's time for the Canucks to stop calling it a shootout. How about a skate-in?