Did LaRon Landry really think he was fooling anyone with the PEDs?
Did you see his photos?
For Halloween, he's going as The Thing from Fantastic Four.
Total cost of costume: zero.
Or whatever a weekly supply of Andro is worth.

Colts safety LaRon Landry was suspended 4 games for violating the NFL's PED policy.
Maybe he can use the month off to film Over The Top 2 with Stallone.

Washington sold expired beer at FedEx Field last Thursday night during their blowout loss to the New York Giants.
Or, as they like to call it, "fire water".

Michigan lost the Little Brown Jug to Minnesota for just the second time in 24 years.
If you thought the Wolverines were under performing so far, wait until dehydration sets in next game.

For all the opposing teams honouring him, Derek Jeter still gave out more departing gifts over his career than he received.

New LA Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is banning Apple products from the organization.
Players will have to listen to music on Zunes.

Canada missed the cut at the Ryder Cup again.

"We'll be back with more commercials, but first a quick break for a couple of Ryder Cup shots."

Packers at Bears Sunday. Epic tailgating. Sell your kale stocks.

Charlie Strong is off to a rough start at Texas.
Things are so bad, the Longhorn Network is showing reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger.

Derek Jeter: 20 years with one team.
He is the model of commitment.

AC/DC is coming out with a new album December 2nd.
It will be released by automatically being downloaded into every stadium and arena's music library.

Some Packers fans are blaming girlfriend Olivia Munn for Aaron Rodgers' slow start.
I don't think it's fair to throw Rodgers under the succubus.

The Vancouver Sun regretted a photo caption and on Wednesday morning sent an apology to Anson Carter.

The Canucks-Sharks preseason game resulted in the most photos coming out of Stockton since the location scout for Dead Man on Campus.

If Derek Jeter announced he was coming back for one more season, would he have to give all the gifts back?

San Diego Chargers linebacker Manti Te'o will miss several weeks after he fractured his foot against the Bills Sunday.
He will be reevaluated to make sure it's not all just in his head.

If the Jacksonville Jaguars try to move to the United Kingdom, England may hold a referendum and vote No.

Toronto Argonauts vice-chairman Pinball Clemons lost his Grey Cup ring after he tossed it into the BC Place crowd for some fans to look at.
When did Vladimir Putin start attending CFL games?

The Jacksonville Jaguars sent a letter discouraging fans from standing at games.
Don't expect any EverBank Field concerts with Kanye West.

They say all the football controversies are burying coverage of baseball's pennant races to page 4 in U.S. sports sections.
MLS news is hidden in the Word Jumble.

Increasing levels of pressure on NFL defense: Red Zone, End Zone, Thirty Mile Zone.

Speculation the Vancouver Canucks may open the season with three goalies.
Maybe they can synch up their schedule on RosterBot, and provide an extra netminder to Lower Mainland teams.

Starting pitcher Anibal Sanchez will throw a simulated game for the Detroit Tigers on Sunday.
That means he will throw the equivalent of 6-7 innings, and then the bullpen will come in and blow it.

On the Goodell press conference: I thought it was Talk Like A Pirate Day, not An Iraqi Information Minister.

Roger Goodell said: "I got it wrong on a number of levels."
Shouldn't the guy running the NFL have a better grasp on things than me playing Halo?

Atlanta 56 Tampa Bay 14. The Buccaneers post-game interviews at midnight Eastern Time were a cruelly ironic way to begin Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Jameis Winston always mentions adversity multiple times in interviews after each time he gets in trouble.
He probably thinks that's his team: the Florida State Adversity Seminoles.

The ongoing misadventures of Jameis Winston at Florida State.
He makes Johnny Manziel look like Kurt Warner.

Tom Brady posted his resume online?
I figured any Michigan Wolverines doing that this week would have been coaches.

The good news is they are letting women in to St Andrews Golf Club.
The bad news is it's to staff a Tilted Kilt sports pub.

There was a "yes" vote in Scotland Thursday.
Fortunately, it was at The Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews, where they will allow female members for the first time ever.
Imagine being on the losing side of both ballots.
"Oh well, we still have haggis."

Interesting timing on the Vikings' announcement at 2AM Eastern.
We haven't seen a football press release at that hour since the Frankfurt Galaxy, or Rhein Fire.

Adrian Peterson can't participate in any Vikings team activities?
Does that include prostitute boat parties?

Michigan has looked so bad early, coach Brady Hoke spent halftime of the Miami game setting up his profile on LinkedIn.

Ray Rice, Terrell Suggs...Ray Lewis wasn't kidding when he said he was a big influence on younger Ravens.

A friend in Oklahoma City tells me he attends Edmonton Oilers farm team games.
I thought Edmonton was the farm team.

If you break it down, the Haka is a combination of the Macarena and YMCA.

U2 batted .500 this week.
They let Apple distribute their new album, but trusted the NFL to release their new video.

Rogers new ad for its west coast NHL package features Mark Messier.
What happened: they couldn't get Brad Marchand?

Calgary finally got one of those outdoor winter games.
Unfortunately, it was street hockey in early September.

Reports say the NFL was sent the 2nd Rice video last spring.
Apparently, it drew even less viewing interest than The Expendables 3.

That is the most requested elevator video since Aerosmith.

Ray Rice is being removed from Madden 15...and added to Resident Evil.

The Kansas City Royals won on Derek Jeter Day in Yankee Stadium.
The win was instantly called one of the greatest of all time, without any statistical facts to back up the claim.

Nice pic from Angel Di Maria's EPL press conference.
When I saw it, my first thought was: Man United signed Bat Boy?

LeBron James was at the Ohio State-Virginia Tech game to try to sell recruits on becoming Buckeyes.
Unfortunately, "take your talents to Columbus" doesn't have the same ring to it, unless you're a tattoo artist or a car dealer.

FIFA ethics investigator Michael Garcia has submitted his report into alleged corruption in the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids.
FIFA officials said they'll read the report just as soon as they return from their month-long vacation at an all-inclusive resort in Qatar.

Carmelo Anthony said he wants to brand himself as "THE digital athlete".
Sorry, Melo, the digital athlete of the week was Browns linebacker Chris Kirksey, depicted in a Madden 15 glitch as a 14-inch tall Tennessee Titan.

Detroit rookie Eric Ebron, one of 12 NFL players battling on "GQ Style Wars", says he "does not like to dress like other people".
Obviously; he enjoys putting on a Lions jersey.

Lou Holtz addressed Notre Dame's team Friday.
Did they have team-issued ponchos?
Seeing Holtz speak in person is like going to a Gallagher show.

Team USA blew out the Dominican Republic at the FIBA World Cup in Spain.
Little known fact: the Dominican team are the same guys from the baseball World Cup.

The search continues for an albino cobra in LA.
Is this a Lakers free agent target?

The Idaho at Florida football game was declared a "no contest" due to inclement weather, which is exactly what it would have been if they had actually played the game.

Let me get this straight: the Broncos Wes Welker got suspended four games for taking ecstasy laced with amphetamines at the Kentucky Derby?
Maybe someone slipped it into his Mint Julep.

Michael Sam winding up in Texas is like Rick Perry being elected mayor of San Francisco.

Re Sidney Crosby: wait - false information came out of Ottawa?

I'm not sure what was leakier last Saturday night: the B.C. Place roof or the Whitecaps defense.

Quite the early morning marathon at the US Open.
Not sure about Milos Raonic's "Tetris meets Charlie Brown on acid" shirt.

Mariners catcher Jesus Montero was suspended after he threw an ice cream sandwich at a scout while rehabbing at Single-A Everett.
At this rate, the next thing he's throwing inside a ballpark may be a bag of peanuts.