The Spengler Cup seems to act as some sort of annual therapy session for European hockey players to take out their frustrations against "Team Canada".

Canada lost in the semi-finals of the Spengler Cup; named after Harold Ramis' character in Ghostbusters, Dr. Egon Spengler.

New Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh tripped on the way into his introductory press conference.
That's a long tradition in Wolverines football going back to Gerald Ford.

The Baltimore Ravens head of security was charged with a sex offense.
Irony meters hit Alanis Morissette levels.

World Juniors: Denmark beat Switzerland in a shootout to win the traditional goat piñata filled with cheese.

When Lou Holtz retires, he will be made into a plant sprayer and a pair of snakeskin boots.

Ndamukong Suh, space cadet: That's one small step for a man, one giant blow to the Lions playoff hopes.

Suspension or fine for Ndamukong Suh for stepping on Aaron Rodgers?
A double discount on his next check would have been appropriate.

The Olympic men's hockey team was named Canada's 2014 Team of the Year by the Canadian Press.
Another loss for the Oilers.

Rumours erstwhile Ohio State starting QB Braxton Miller may transfer to Duke.
Unfortunately, when they transfer his Ohio State class credits to Duke, he may find himself back in high school.

What kind of odds could one have gotten from Vegas the past few months that the Cleveland Browns starting QB at the end of the season would be Connor Shaw?

That Gustav Nyquist 28-second possession game-winning OT goal was spectacular.
Al Gore wanted to know who got credited for the assist.

Ohio State's offensive coordinator said 3rd-string QB Cardale Jones "started acting like a man" once he inherited the Buckeyes starting job.
What does that mean: he registered for a class?

Kentucky's student manager has turned up in the 2nd round of some mock NBA Drafts.

Jack Eichel = Napoleon Dynamite with shorter hair.

On Christmas, the Longhorn Network showed 5 hours of the Texas mascot Bevo walking around eating grass.
I'm pretty sure the SEC Network did that with Les Miles.

Barack in Hawaii: the only thing anyone saw James Franco kill on a screen this week was my fantasy football team. 3 INTs!

The NFL said there won't be a team in LA for the 2015 season.
That's too bad, because London was already trying to move the Jaguars there.

Legendary Dodgers announcer Vin Scully temporarily lost his 1988 World Series ring while shopping.
I didn't realize Vladimir Putin was in Los Angeles.

At the rate the 49ers are going, Michigan may be the only ones who want Jim Harbaugh by the end of the year.

UCLA forward Kevon Looney wants a rematch with Kentucky, despite a blowout loss that saw the Bruins down 41-7 at the half to the Wildcats.
He probably won't get that, but he may have just gotten a nickname: The Black Knight.

Great to hear Lou Holtz refer to the Albuquerque game as the New Methco Bowl.

In the wake of recent events, I guess we can expect to see Dennis Rodman cast in the next Expendables sequel.

Gabriel Madina became Brazil's first surfing world champion and the beach at Pipeline on Oahu's North Shore turned into little Brazil.
All that was missing was leftover, under-used World Cup stadiums.

President Obama's favorite running back growing up was the Steelers' Flacco Harris.

Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps got 18 months probation for his DUI.
A judge denied his request to be sentenced to Sea World.

Postmedia News reported Jeff Tedford agreed to be the new head coach of the BC Lions after spending five nights in a Surrey hotel this week.
He's the first person ever to spend five nights in a Surrey hotel that the RCMP haven't wanted to talk to.

New Detroit Tigers outfielder Yoenis Cespedes drives a Lamborghini that spits flames from the exhaust pipes.
The explosion of fire doesn't faze Tigers fans who are used to watching the Detroit bullpen.

The Alouettes Chad Johnson left a $300 gratuity on a $352 restaurant bill.
That's an ochenta y cinco % tip.

Johnny Manziel became the 21st starting QB for the Browns since 1999.
Cleveland changes QBs like Sony Pictures is going through IT guys.

Horrible fall for University of Michigan football and basketball.
You know it's bad when the only Wolverine team ranked are the winemakers at Charles Woodson's TwentyFour, which landed at #58 on Wine Spectator's year-end Top 100.

New KHL marketing slogan: "At Least We Don't Have The Mumps".

Russia's economic crisis is affecting the KHL.
It's never a good look when your ice refinisher is pulled by a yak.

A junior hockey game in Wisconsin was marred last weekend when a malfunctioning zamboni leaked carbon monoxide into the arena and caused players and fans to experience nausea, dizziness, vomiting, headaches and fainting.
In other words, an average home game at Rexall Place.

USAToday.com had an article titled "The 8 Most Ridiculous Hats Carmelo Anthony Has Ever Worn".
None crazier than the Knicks idea that he could somehow be the leader on a contending team.

The NFC South's ineptitude has made for some unique promo spots: "Monday night, the Saints have their sights set on the NFL playoffs, and/or one of the top draft picks."

NFL Sunday Night Football has lost to Walking Dead 5 of the past 8 weeks.

Coincidentally, the NFL's version of the walking dead, the San Francisco 49ers, have lost 5 of the past 8 weeks.

Army and Navy combined for 114 yards passing.
Safe to say the modern military is a little more focused on the aerial attack.

Marcus Mariota became the first Oregon Duck to win the Heisman Trophy.
The Joey Harrington Times Square billboard may have its balls drop on New Year's Eve.

The White Sox signed Melky Cabrera to $42 million over 3 years.
The average MLB salary last year was just under $4 million.
Did they think they were signing Miguel Cabrera?

A trucking company employee made off with a big rig full of $1.5 million worth of LeBron James 12 sneakers before he was busted.
It's the first time someone with LeBron's shoes has been caught traveling.

Heisman Trophy winner Marcus Mariota had an amazing season at Oregon.
And had more costume changes than a Lady Gaga concert.

Dallas Stars owner Tom Gaglardi was given a hefty fine for  wrecking a Kamloops-area fish habitat.
With the Stars coming to Rogers Arena this Wednesday, Canuck mascot Fin must be nervous.

I went to the annual BC Lions Locker Room Sale and picked up a couple of shoulder slings and an energy drink cooler full of broken dreams.

The Knicks have joined in with the activists' movement.
They are wearing shirts that say "I Can't Shoot".

Magic Johnson said he hopes the Lakers lose every game.
He should become a Knicks fan. He'd be a lot happier.

Roger Goodell was one of 8 finalists for Time magazine's Person of the Year, which was awarded to the Ebola fighters.
Goodell immediately placed the Ebola fighters on his suspended list.

Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez was caught off guard by his head football coach Gary Anderson leaving the Badgers for Oregon State.
Alvarez hasn't been this surprised since his son tried to cook a parrot in a microwave for Thanksgiving.

LeBron James put his hand on Kate Middleton's shoulder.
As usual, no whistle.

An "I Can't Breathe" scarf would be a big holiday seller, and make more anatomical sense.

That LeSean McCoy 20-cent tip on a $61.56 bill from September had a resurgence on Facebook.
I'm amazed a NFL player could add those two numbers together.

Germany's Mario Goetze auctioned off his World Cup-winning left boot and raised $2.5 million for charity.
He had to keep the right one to leave by his door for Santa.

Of course the NHL's going to end up in Vegas: look at the commissioner's last name.

Sports Illustrated named Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner its Sportsman of the Year.
It was the second time in two months a magazine broke the Internet with a mad bum.

The Jets Evander Kane was suspended two games for giving a hit to a Stoner.
Stop enabling those people!

The Ottawa Senators fired head coach Paul MacLean.
At least he will get to spend the holidays back with his walrus herd family.

The Chargers Manti Te'o intercepted the Patriots Tom Brady.
It was like Brady was communicating with a receiver that wasn't even there.

Jeremy Lin says it's difficult because there is so much going on with the Lakers all at once right now.
You know things are bad when you pine for the stability of the Knicks.

How funny are college football's four playoff teams when Oregon is the model student?

The Duck Commander Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana December 27 features two 6-6 teams: the Hurricanes and Gamecocks.
Sounds like a men's survivalist retreat.

NFC South = CFL East

The Women's World Cup mascot looks like the love child of Pierre the Pelican and Larry King.

What a week for New Jersey: first Snooki removed from the dating pool, then NJIT upsetting Michigan.

The Arizona Wildcats with the biggest Silicon Valley flop since Webvan.

George Parros announced his retirement.
Seems appropriate now that Movember is over.

The Denver Post named some possible candidates to replace Colorado State head coach Jim McElwain, saying hiring recently fired Michigan head coach Brady Hoke "would make a splash".
Only if he jumped in a pool.

Baltimore defensive tackle Haloti Ngata was suspended 4 games for PEDs.
Congratulations: that automatically makes him the Ravens' Humanitarian of the Year.

Chicago Blackhawks goalie Corey Crawford is out two weeks after injuring his foot at a concert.
Insurance agents are checking to see whether twerking was involved.

Mexico extended national team soccer coach Miguel Herrera to four more years of emotional outbursts and ill-fitting suits.

The Buffalo Bills have ended their Toronto experiment.
The franchise has not, however, ruled out playing more home games in Detroit.
Check your local weather forecasts.

The Arizona State University Sun Devils will become the 60th Division I hockey team starting in the 2016-17 season.
The Coyotes better watch out or they may find themselves the second most popular team in the state.

The last thing Brady Hoke heard through a headset was Dark Side of the Moon.

Florida State QB Jameis Winston appeared before a student code-of-conduct panel.
He had never experienced anything like that before.
It was like a test or defending a paper.

Adidas unveiled the 2015 NBA All-Star Game uniforms.
In a fitting tribute to host city New York's basketball history, the clothes will go on sale in January, and turn up in thrift stores come March.

The Rams beat the Raiders 52-0 and the wrong team got criticized for their display of non-violent resistance.