With each passing game, Native Americans' Supreme Court case that being associated with the Washington Redskins is offensive is mounting.

Where is Danica Patrick in the IndyCar series standings?
Bob Griese says she's out having a Cosmo.

The 0-7 Tampa Bay Buccaneers are lucky NFL Europe no longer exists.
After their loss at Wembley Stadium they might be facing relegation.

In interviews, Edmonton Oilers G Jeff Deslauriers sounds uncannily like Fred from MacInTalk.

The 0-7-1 Maple Leafs are the biggest flop in Toronto since the Lord of the Rings musical.

Thank goodness B.C. Place Stadium's retractable roof is going to be finished in time for the 2011 Grey Cup.
I can't imagine a big late November football game in Vancouver without sunshine.

Roger Goodell says he's not sure which city the NFL will first have a team competing in: L.A., London or St. Louis?

An ice skating bear attacked two people in the Russian state circus, killing one.
The Anaheim Ducks immediately placed it on their negotiation list.

The Chad Ochocinco iPhone app lets fans track and stay in touch with the Bengals WR.
The Brett Favre app was discontinued after it kept switching service providers.

A court trustee revealed the New York Mets made a profit of $48 million in the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme.
Johan Santana must be wondering what's worse: 150 years in prison or 7 years on the Mets?

StubHub sent out an e-mail Monday offering Mets' playoff tickets.
"Be there alongside your New York Mets as they chase baseball immortality."
Apparently, baseball immortality is found on boats and golf courses in Florida.

The postseason umpires have made more wrong calls than the Fort Collins, CO police department.

Only three cities - the fewest in 30 years - are bidding to host the 2018 Winter Olympics.
There are more cities vying to host the next NAMBLA convention.

The New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers meet at Wembley Stadium in London Sunday.
This is the equivalent of Arsenal playing Portsmouth in the U.S.
The NFL UK boss says the Bucs have a "strong fan base" in London.
Oh yeah, if you are wearing Patriots colors instead of the red and pewter in Bucs fan territory in London, trouble's a-brewin'.

The Titans lost 59-0 at New England.
It was the worst performance in snow since the cast of "Snowbeast".

Approximately 5000 fans watched Phoenix host the St. Louis Blues Thursday night.
The Coyotes season ticket list has fewer last names than a Brazilian soccer roster.

Usually objects launched that high into the Colorado air originate from the Coors Field pitching mound.

The Maple Leafs are 0-6 and the Argonauts are 3-11; the Buffalo Bills should fit right in in Toronto.

The Bengals are in first place in the AFC North.
The last time they were on top of something it was the Cincinnati police blotter.

The Chicago Cubs filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection Monday.
Their next celebrity 7th-inning stretch singer will be MC Hammer.

Experts project that the swine flu could cause more lost U.S. worker productivity this winter than any affliction other than March Madness.

Florida Governor Charlie Crist has issued a statement backing embattled FSU coach Bobby Bowden.
It was a highly unusual show of public support, as the governor's office usually only gets involved with significant state events and election results.

Golf and rugby have been voted into the Olympics for 2016.
Bocce and parkour went home empty-handed.

The Pontiac Silverdome is for sale.
Does Jay Leno need a new garage?

Canadian PM Stephen Harper reminded Governor General Michaelle Jean that she is not the country's Head of State, after she twice referred to herself as such in a speech.
Harper's clarification on the "Head of State" was applauded by many - particularly Leafs president Brian Burke, who thought he was.

Southern Indiana has been banned from the NCAA Basketball Tournament for alleged violations.
And my bracket gets busted earlier every year.

San Francisco 49ers draft pick Michael Crabtree finally signed a contract today after threatening to sit out his entire NFL career.

The Yankees have decided the ALDS will begin Wednesday night to maximize their home field advantage.
First pitch is 11:00pm in Bronx Park.

The Tigers Miguel Cabrera was taken to a Detroit police station at 6 a.m. after getting into a drunken fight with his wife over whether or not to activate Adam Everett on their fantasy team.

The New York Islanders are threatening to move.
Not even Hamilton, Ontario is interested.

A new book alleges that an employee at an Arizona cryogenics company swung a monkey wrench to dislodge a tuna can stuck to Ted Williams, but instead missed and accidentally hit the famous slugger's head.
Was D-back 3B Mark Reynolds working at the facility?

Rio de Janeiro is so ready to host the Olympics: the shooting venues are already up.

Brett Favre Viking jerseys have flown off the shelves.
It's the NFL's biggest secondary revenue stream after Flozell Adams.

MLS passes new rule prohibiting use of Friendster during matches.

An Aussie rugby player was arrested for trying to have sex with a parking meter.
He was just trying to do what parking meters have always done to us.

Serena Williams was fined $10,000 for threatening to kill a line judge.
Terrelle Pryor asks: what's the big deal?

The CFL rejected the Alouettes protest of their last-minute loss at the B.C. Lions.
It was the most disappointing road trip for a group of Montrealers since the Men Without Hats reunion tour.

Lou Holtz is the ultimate house-sitter.
He can both talk to the plants and water them at the same time.
When people get home from vacation, the house looks like a Rainforest Cafe.

The Pacman Jones to Winnipeg deal is off after Jones got a look at Manitoba strip clubs.

Pacman Jones signed with the CFL's Winnipeg Blue Bombers.
That may not be the best environment for him, as locals carry guns for protection against Manitoba mosquitos.

Football is returning to Old Dominion University after 68 years.
No one is relishing the renewal of a rivalry with them more than Penn State coach Joe Paterno, though he still calls them New Dominion.

The NFL is investigating the Dallas Cowboys giant, low-hanging new video screen after punts started reaching it.
They are also worried Jerry Jones's head might hit it.

Gamers can now add Brett Favre and Michael Vick to Madden NFL 10 rosters.
Halo players can download Marvin Harrison.

South African Caster Semenya won gold in the 800-meter at the world track championships, but is being subjected to a gender test.
The last time something like this happened was David Bowie at the 1974 Grammy Awards.

One of the new United Football League teams is the Las Vegas Locomotives.
Right...nothing says "train travel" like Vegas.
The only people riding the rails there these days are real estate developers escaping the construction collapse.
I wonder where those tracks lead to?
Probably a jazz venue in Salt Lake City.

A beer hit the Phils Shane Victorino at Wrigley Field.
Maybe they had Eddie Vedder back and it fell out of the press box.

District 9 opens this weekend; an area full of secrets where things go horribly wrong.
It's set in Louisville, Kentucky.

San Diego Chargers CB Antonio Cromartie was fined for using Twitter to complain about the food at training camp.
Twitter fears another collapse as Charlie Weis and Notre Dame open camp Monday.

The 33rd America's Cup race will be run in February in the southern Persian Gulf.
I hope they can squeeze it in before the pirates report for spring training.

Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin got a 30-day suspension, a cut in salary and will work with LGBT groups after he used an anti-gay slur.
This would never have happened if they hadn't dropped "Rainbows" from their team nickname.

I'm surprised the NY Mets fired Tony Bernazard before President Obama could have him and the Binghampton Mets over for lunch in the White House Rose Garden.

President Obama has invited the Harvard professor and the Cambridge, MA police officer who arrested him in his own home to the White House.
Mark Buehrle must be wondering what he needs to do on a baseball field to get past a phone call.

Manny Ramirez became the first Dodger to homer on his bobblehead night, although Steve Garvey once homered on Father's Day.

The video of the dunk against LeBron was less conclusive than the Zapruder film.

Quentin Richardson's been traded three times this summer.
"Q" is weighing his next sponsor options: Nike, Reebok or U-Haul.

Tattoo artists are breathing a sigh of relief: MMA star Kimo Leopoldo is still alive.

Pedro Martinez was placed on the disabled list after he apparently strained a shoulder signing his one-year contract with the Phillies.

Ex-NBAer Antoine Walker has achieved what was thought to be a mathematical impossibility: for the first time in 10 years, someone owes Planet Hollywood money.

Rumors of a Shaq fight in UFC.
Shaq in the Octagon will last less time than Kobe in the jewelry store.

Home Run Derby winner Prince Fielder was the first player to reach the finals of both that event and Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

You know we're in the post-steroid era when Brandon Inge is in the Home Run Derby.

Florida State is appealing the NCAA's decision to strip Bobby Bowden of wins after 61 athletes allegedly cheated on an online music exam.
The university seeks to allow the students to make up the course credit on Guitar Hero.

10 injured in Friday's Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain.
Some were Minnesota Timberwolves execs trapped fleeing between the steers and Ricky Rubio's buyout.

Nike officials confiscated tapes from two cameramen who filmed a college player dunking over LeBron James at his Skills Academy.
Where was this summer camp - Tehran?

The Padres experienced a 52-minute bee swarm delay in the top of the 9th when they hosted the Astros.
Unfortunately for San Diego, Petco Park cuts off mead sales after the 6th.

The top lefthanded pitching prospect in the world disappeared from the Cuban national team in Rotterdam.
Cuba's baseball team has the only bullpen car that converts to a boat.

Toronto Argonaut WR Arland Bruce was penalized and fined by the CFL after a bizarre "tribute" to Michael Jackson where he lay down on the field and pretended he was dead.
Didn't his whole team do that all last season?

The L.A. Clippers are giving away a chance at free flights for anyone joining their website.
I wonder how many Clipper players are signing up in hopes of a one-way ticket?

The Suns and Cavaliers made a trade that will see Shaquille O'Neal team with LeBron James.
Isn't that like hitching a trailer to a Ferrari?

192 people who put their names on a waiting list in the 1970s will be able to buy season tickets to the Green Bay Packers this year.
A similar waiting list of people will finally be allowed into Studio 54.

Former Browns QB Bernie Kosar filed for bankruptcy.
What happened to all those economics classes he took as a student-athlete at the University of Miami?

Iran failed to qualify for the 2010 World Cup, so we will be spared their government news agency telling their people they beat Brazil 3-0.

A bankruptcy judge rejected the sale and relocation of the Phoenix Coyotes to Jim Balsillie.
This may be the first time anyone's ever been disappointed at not being able to spend their winter in Hamilton, Ontario instead of Arizona.

The New York Times reported that Sammy Sosa failed a drug test in 2003, but didn't identify the drug.
I think it's safe to say it wasn't truth serum.

Saturday Night at Progressive Field the Cleveland Indians are putting on Shin-Soo Choo '80s Bobblehead Night.
I don't understand the '80s angle, except that was when Dave Winfield beaned a seagull with a throw.

Cubs RF Milton Bradley caught a fly ball with a runner on third for the 2nd out, and then tossed the ball to fans in the bleachers.
If you're scoring along, that's E-9, IQ-10.

Shin-Soo Choo singled off a low-flying seagull in the bottom of the 10th to lead the Indians to victory over the Royals.
It was the most publicized ballplayer hitting a bird since A-Rod was seeing Madonna.

The University of Minnesota may ban booze sales at games this fall, as officials say it sends the wrong message to students.
Profit-making certainly seems out of step with today's business environment.

Fordham University is going to start giving out football scholarships next year.
In related news, Florida State is going to start awarding academic scholarships.

A new group wants an NHL expansion franchise named the Toronto Legacy, and say they envision a 30,000-seat arena where half the tickets are affordable for hockey fans.
That's just what the NHL needs: a team with 15,000 tickets every game that are unaffordable to hockey fans.

Denver Broncos WR Brandon Marshall is free to play in the NFL in 2009 after being cleared from his latest domestic dispute.
Marshall dropped 18 "on-target" passes last year, something he blamed on nerve damage to his arm after he put it through a TV set.
And to think the NFL promoted the "Cavemen" series.

Ohio State lost a postseason game 37-6?!?
This "June-uary" moniker may be gaining in relevance.

Texas beat Boston College 3-2 in 25 innings in the longest game in NCAA history.
Or as Bud Selig likes to call it: 2 ties.

The game finished in 7 hours and 3 minutes.
Mike Hargrove couldn't believe how long it took.

Jose Canseco's MMA debut lasted 77 seconds, or about as long as Mr. T's singing career.

The title of Sam Raimi's new movie is "Drag Me To Hell", which sounds like the Iditarod finishing at a Carlos Mencia concert.

Mr. T made Cubs fans' ears experience something their hearts do: pain.

Terminator Salvation had a disappointing weekend at the box office after poor word of mouth.
Joel Quenneville called it the worst movie in the history of cinema.

Notre Dame is interested in playing a football game at new Yankee Stadium.
If it goes ahead, it will be an intriguing combination of a rich, conservative institution whose glory years are fading into memory, and one of college football's legendary programs.

Former NFL QB Ryan Leaf has been indicted by a Texas grand jury on drug and burglary charges.
The Amarillo Globe-News reports that Leaf has been undergoing drug rehabilitation in British Columbia.
That's like moving to Las Vegas to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings.

First the NBA vs WWE; now Game 4 of the Penguins-Hurricanes series at Raleigh's RBC Center is double-booked against a Charlie Daniels Band concert.

The WWE's Monday Night Raw is scheduled for Denver's Pepsi Center Monday night at the same time as the Nuggets are slated to host the L.A. Lakers.
Too bad Gary Bettman isn't running their playoffs: they could hold the events concurrently.

L.A. Angels starter John Lackey was ejected after just two pitches.
Sounds like Dane Cook's last visit to a studio lot.

Detroit police say a woman was hit by a chair thrown by Anaheim GM Bob Murray after the Ducks lost Game 7 to the Red Wings.
Murray and Chris Pronger are more likely to get on Jerry Springer before ESPN.

The President of the Philippines declared boxer Manny Pacquiao a "special envoy of peace".
The President of the Dominican Republic calls Manny Ramirez a special envoy of bald men who don't use women's fertility drugs to mask performance-enhancers.

A Yanni concert at the Penguins arena Tuesday forced Games 4 and 5 to be held back-to-back Friday and Saturday night in Pittsburgh and Washington.
Yanni will open the show by raising Jaromir Jagr's mullet to the rafters.

The Minnesota Vikings have reportedly been sent X-rays of Brett Favre's injured right shoulder and bruised ego.

Former Nebraska Cornhuskers QB Sam Keller is suing EA Sports and the NCAA, saying the videogame maker wrongly uses the likenesses of athletes.
Can a Cincinnati Bengals class-action against Grand Theft Auto be far behind?

Reports are Brett Favre is planning a comeback to get "revenge" on the Packers.
Easton (PA) and Phillipsburg (NJ) high schools' 1993 football teams think it's time he gave it a rest.

Rio de Janeiro hopes to host the 2016 Summer Olympics.
If selected, their mascot will be a giant, animated herpes sore.

Despite Gary Bettman's attempts to sell the NHL in the deep south, secessionist Georgia gubernatorial candidate Neal Horsley has been ordered to stay at least 100 meters away from the Red Wings Johan Franzen.