First Four Fever is sweeping the country.
Night watchmen are calling in sick to work.

The NFLPA is encouraging incoming college players to boycott the NFL Draft.
Brady Quinn wonders where this idea was a few years ago.

Dwyane Wade won custody of his 8 and 3-year-old boys, who will move from Chicago to Miami.
His sons said they are looking forward to taking their pails and shovels to South Beach.

This is the year I am going to win my CBI and CIT pools.

After the Milwaukee Bucks scored 56 points against the Celtics, they applied to join the Big Ten Conference.

On Air Canada's threat to halt its NHL sponsorship over head hits, Gary Bettman said "it's just like the prerogative of our clubs that fly Air Canada to make other arrangements if they don't think Air Canada is giving them the appropriate level of service."
Yeah, I hate it when the flight attendants ram my skull into the overhead compartment.

LeBron James is reportedly being sued by an Atlanta nightclub for backing out of an appearance and then planning an event at a rival club.
Apparently, he failed to come through at the last minute.

No truth to the rumor the Miami Heat 30 on 30 will be directed by Neil Jordan.

Jay-Z and David Ortiz are reportedly feuding because Jay-Z has a nightclub called 40/40 and Big Papi has one called Forty Forty.
They're both going to be pissed when Miguel Cabrera opens his club Forty Ounces.

Two ex-University of Kansas officials got two years probation in a ticket scam case.
The courtroom was packed and scalpers were doing a brisk business for the sentencing.

The Secret Service beat the FBI 7-6 in their annual hockey game before a full house of 2500 in Arlington, Virginia.
It was the first hockey sellout of the year south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

ABC showcased the first regular season NBA game in Europe, featuring the Nets and Raptors.
They also brought over similar quality dramatic programming to sell: Detroit 1-8-7.

Canada was awarded the 2015 Women's World Cup after Zimbabwe was deemed too high a vuvuzela risk.

President Barack Obama said he hopes the NFL and the players can resolve things without him intervening because he's "got a lot of other stuff to do".
Like implementing a college football playoff, fixing the labor strife on Two And A Half Men, and camping out in line for iPad2.

The NHL playoffs must be approaching; the nightly scoreboard is starting to resemble binary code.

The Mets are looking for new loan sources.
How about Carson Palmer?

The chances of Major League Baseball making another substantial loan to the New York Mets are about the same as the franchise having a Bernie Madoff bobblehead night.

China blocked professional networking site LinkedIn.
And there went the hopes of Chinese replacement football players.

The King's Speech won Best Picture?
Ironic, considering LeBron's "The Decision" was the worst TV show of the year.

It was a good week for 20-year-olds: Milos Raonic, Trevor Bayne, and The Tragically Hip's Road Apples.

The Toronto Maple Leafs Joffrey Lupul got help from his large Twitter following to find the cellphone he left behind in a taxi.
I don't think that's the first time Bell Canada has lost a call.

The NHL's Heritage Classic in Calgary garnered strong TV ratings.
It was of special interest to scientists studying how Arctic ice breaks apart.

The chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee wants NFL owners to open their financial books to the players union.
Well, if anyone knows their way around murky financial claims it's politicians.

PerezOwens.com is alleging Kobe Bryant paid a mistress to live in Italy for a year.
Is that really the best place to hide from sex scandals?
Where did she stay - one of Silvio Berlusconi's villas?

The NHL All-Star Game used a system where the players chose up their own sides.
They got the idea from the NBA.

Auburn and Alabama students are planting "sister trees" on each other's campuses.
Oregon and Oregon State tried the same thing but the plants were confiscated by DEA agents.

Caltech men's basketball snapped a 26-year, 310-game conference losing streak.
The only people who can comprehend the magnitude of those numbers are Caltech students.

The only thing carrying a heftier price tag than Carmelo Anthony over NBA All-Star Weekend was Bryant McKinnie's bar tab.

Sri Lanka beat Canada by 210 runs at cricket's World Cup.
Sri Lanka's sports minister was so pleased, he promised the team a free cruise to Canada on a cargo ship.

20-year-old Trevor Bayne won the Daytona 500.
When I was 20 my parents finally let me go to the Go-Kart track without them.

Auburn hosted the largest gathering of tree-worshippers since Avatar.

The Penguins-Islanders brawls were so violent, after the game Roger Goodell tried to fine people.

Who's the genius that scheduled the NHL Heritage Classic, NBA All-Star Game and Bassmaster Classic all on the same weekend?

An Iowa high school wrestler defaulted his match against a female when he said his faith wouldn't allow him to fight a girl.
I guess he doesn't worship at the Church of Andy Kaufman.

Police arrested a crazed Alabama fan who poisoned 130-year-old oak trees on the Auburn campus.
I wonder if he'll be kept separated from all the ex-Auburn players in prison?

Pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training.
Next up: position players and Miguel Cabrera's attorney.

Tiger Woods was fined for spitting on the 12th green at the Dubai Desert Classic.
Shouldn't they have paid him? It was the first precipitation the course had seen in months.

Brazil's Ronaldo is retiring from soccer at 34, hoping to travel, spend time with his family and perhaps add a first or last name.

The Detroit Pistons are going to retire Dennis Rodman's number.
On April 1, they will raise a dress to the rafters.

The Cleveland Cavaliers finally won, so the new longest losing streak title goes to M. Night Shyamalan.

For the first time, all March Madness games will be broadcast with staggered start times on free TV.
The US economic recovery just took another big hit.
People will be using up sick days like they live in France during a flu outbreak.

Warren Moon is prepping Cam Newton for the NFL Draft.
Maybe we'll see him in Eskimos green and gold this fall.

The Super Bowl: in 7 years its gone from wardrobe malfunction to stadium malfunction.

A-Rod was upset that Fox showed Super Bowl shots of him being hand-fed popcorn by Cameron Diaz.
Better her than Victor Conte.

No wonder there was a lack of seat space at the Super Bowl - the Kardashians were there.

David Sills, the QB USC coach Lane Kiffin offered a scholarship to last year as a 7th-grader, has reaffirmed his verbal commitment to the Trojans at a press conference, choosing their lunchbox over Texas and Auburn ones.

A new bill might force the release of the Mayo Clinic's medical records of Lou Gehrig.
Wally Pipp's were scheduled to be released first but that researcher had a headache.

Super Bowl XLV was the most-watched TV show in history, beating out the MASH finale.
The Packers also broke the MASH unit's record for most people in an infirmary.

The 400 fans inconvenienced by the seating mixup at the Super Bowl will be rewarded by being able to visit Indianapolis next February.

One good thing came out of the Super Bowl halftime show: they were able to finish principal photography on Tron 3.

Disturbing trend for the NFL on CFL hand-me-downs: what's next in this sequence?
Cameron Wake...Black Eyed Peas...
Watch out, next year they'll send Rita MacNeil down for the Lingerie Bowl.

Sumo's latest scandals have exploded in Japan, where wrestlers have admitted match fixing and the Prime Minister called it a national embarrassment.
Some of the wrestlers may also have lied about their weight.

Top-rated OL recruit Cyrus Kouandjio can't decide between Alabama and Auburn.
Probably waiting to see which car dealership each school has a Groupon deal with.

Redskins DT Albert Haynesworth is accused of punching the driver of a car he was reportedly tailgating.
That's the closest he's gotten to an object he's pursued in a few years.

Groundhogs around North America failed to see their shadow Wednesday, which means the Toronto Maple Leafs should be eliminated from the playoffs in 6 weeks.

The NBA fined the Knicks $200,000 for illegal draft workouts between 2007-2010.
Based on Knicks draft history, I'd say self-sanctions were already in progress.

The Black Eyed Peas are keeping their Super Bowl halftime playlist a secret.
Wow - can you imagine if WikiLeaks got ahold of that?

Despite NCAA scholarship sanctions, USC brought in 30 new players.
Good to see Enron's accountants have found work again.

QB Mitch Mustain was the second former USC Trojan to be arrested this week.
They've done a great job of not slowing down despite NCAA sanctions.

Joe Paterno's first LOIs came in by carrier pigeon.

Allen Iverson is out with a calf injury until mid-March.
This is really screwing up my TBL fantasy team.
I may have to call up Enes Kanter.

National Signing Day Wednesday.
Or, as Auburn calls it, National Reorder Checks Day.

The only Texas driver able to make it to the Canucks-Stars game Tuesday night was the Zamboni operator.

There is reportedly a shortage of strippers in Dallas for the Super Bowl.
Pacman Jones says that is the final straw and there will be a players' strike in 2011.

The new Egyptian government is like the NHL All-Star Fantasy Draft if there was only one captain picking.

Has anyone looked at O.J. Mayo's stats this season?
Definitely "not guilty" of using performance enhancers.

Rafael Nadal got injured but "refused to withdraw".
Chicago Bears fans want to bring him in for a QB tryout.

Lance Armstrong says he has nothing to hide, and welcomes a probe from the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency.
In fact, they are welcome to come over after he tidies up for about 6 months.

Mid-winter rituals: pitchers and catchers and Peter Forsberg reporting.

Euro soccer score Friday: Hamburg beat Frankfurt 1-0 in Germany's Fast Food League.

Despite an estimated 93,000 fans that will be in Cowboys Stadium for Super Bowl XLV, official attendance is expected to surpass 100,000.
They will also count ticket holders watching on TV from an outdoor plaza, plus anyone Jerry Jones imagines in his head.

Auburn coach Gene Chizik won the Paul "Bear" Bryant College Coach of the Year Award, and the William Jefferson Clinton Denier of the Year.

FOX has rejected airing Ashley Madison's adultery dating ad during the Super Bowl.
The site will try again with the Golf Channel.

The Texas Longhorns are getting their own TV network with ESPN.
One of the first shows is CSI: Austin, as investigators try to figure out how they went 2-6 in conference last season.

There is speculation that the Detroit Red Wings put something in Evgeni Nabokov's contract to dissuade other teams from claiming him.
Dinner for two with Gary Bettman?

Auburn QB Cam Newton - against the advice of his accountant - announced he will enter the NFL Draft.

North Korea announced plans to hold its first international golf tournament, on a course where leader Kim Jong Il holds the record with a 38, including 11 holes-in-one.
Something tells me one of that course's hazards is a windmill.
Either that or secret police.

An article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune that our understanding of the zodiac may be off a month caused an online panic, with people tweeting that they had the wrong tattoos.
If true, the NBA may need to take a two-week All-Star break.

Auburn will have a title celebration in Jordan-Hare Stadium on January 22.
Cecil Newton is trying to sell the rights to Mississippi State to host it in Davis Wade Stadium.

Brett Favre's sister was arrested in a Mississippi meth lab bust.
Isn't it time she retired?

David Brandon's coaching-search skills made Bill Martin look like Indiana Jones.

Brandon attacked the "national search" with all the gusto of O.J.'s hunt for the real killer.

The NCAA put Texas Tech on two years probation after finding coaches and assistants sent nearly 1,000 inappropriate text messages to recruits.
Scratch "recruiting coordinator" from the list of possible post-NFL jobs for Brett Favre.

David Stern says that NBA fans boo LeBron James because he's good.
Maybe; but that doesn't explain why they boo David Stern.

Russia's world champion junior hockey team was thrown off their plane home out of Buffalo for "unruly behavior".
They were probably just upset the vodka bottles were so small.

Tiger Woods and Golf Digest magazine dissolved their relationship of 13 years, where Woods was a "playing editor".
He will accept a similar position with Maxim.

Khloe Kardashian and her husband Lamar Odom are getting their own reality series on E!
The eight-episode series is tentatively titled Khloe & Lamar Go To White Castle.

EA Sports Tiger Woods PGA Tour '12 video game will feature Augusta National for the first time.
There's even a divorce mode where you can only play with half your clubs.

The Cleveland Cavaliers offered the homeless man with the golden voice - an Internet sensation - a job.
But his star is rising so quickly he may take his talents to South Beach.

Roberto Alomar and Bert Blyleven were elected to the Baseball Hall Of Fame.
Both will be featured in the new "spitter" wing.

If you're having trouble playing as Ohio State or Auburn in NCAA Football 11, you need to learn the cheat codes.

Birds have been mysteriously falling dead out of the sky in the U.S.
The Saints, Chiefs and Packers hope the trend continues this weekend.

San Francisco was awarded the 2013 America's Cup yacht race, edging out Somalia's bid.

The Big East has 7 basketball teams ranked in the latest Top 25 poll.
Combined with football, the conference will have 7 teams ranked in the two sports.

I'm glad Brett Favre is retiring and not returning for another season and just phoning it in.

A Baltimore Orioles reliever is the main suspect after a fatal shooting in the Dominican Republic.
No doubt his lawyer will argue he was setup and not the finisher.

The Seattle Seahawks became the first NFL team to win a division title with a sub-.500 record on the same day a Volkswagen won the first stage of the Dakar Rally.

Rio de Janeiro unveiled its official logo for the 2016 Summer Olympics.
Appropriately, it resembles a string bikini bottom.

LeBron James is torn over whether or not to enter the NBA's Slam Dunk Contest next month in L.A.
Will LeBron take his talents to Venice Beach?
ESPN: it's time to air The Decision 2.

The Big Ten went 0-5 in New Year's Day bowl games.
For the record, the Leaders were 0-2 and the Legends 0-3.

The Florida Gators announced Charlie Weis as their new offensive coordinator.
State biologists are worried about the hiring's impact on the food chain of its fragile ecosystem.