A new book alleges that an employee at an Arizona cryogenics company swung a monkey wrench to dislodge a tuna can stuck to Ted Williams, but instead missed and accidentally hit the famous slugger's head.
Was D-back 3B Mark Reynolds working at the facility?

Rio de Janeiro is so ready to host the Olympics: the shooting venues are already up.

Brett Favre Viking jerseys have flown off the shelves.
It's the NFL's biggest secondary revenue stream after Flozell Adams.

MLS passes new rule prohibiting use of Friendster during matches.

An Aussie rugby player was arrested for trying to have sex with a parking meter.
He was just trying to do what parking meters have always done to us.

Serena Williams was fined $10,000 for threatening to kill a line judge.
Terrelle Pryor asks: what's the big deal?

The CFL rejected the Alouettes protest of their last-minute loss at the B.C. Lions.
It was the most disappointing road trip for a group of Montrealers since the Men Without Hats reunion tour.

Lou Holtz is the ultimate house-sitter.
He can both talk to the plants and water them at the same time.
When people get home from vacation, the house looks like a Rainforest Cafe.

The Pacman Jones to Winnipeg deal is off after Jones got a look at Manitoba strip clubs.

Pacman Jones signed with the CFL's Winnipeg Blue Bombers.
That may not be the best environment for him, as locals carry guns for protection against Manitoba mosquitos.

Football is returning to Old Dominion University after 68 years.
No one is relishing the renewal of a rivalry with them more than Penn State coach Joe Paterno, though he still calls them New Dominion.

The NFL is investigating the Dallas Cowboys giant, low-hanging new video screen after punts started reaching it.
They are also worried Jerry Jones's head might hit it.

Gamers can now add Brett Favre and Michael Vick to Madden NFL 10 rosters.
Halo players can download Marvin Harrison.

South African Caster Semenya won gold in the 800-meter at the world track championships, but is being subjected to a gender test.
The last time something like this happened was David Bowie at the 1974 Grammy Awards.

One of the new United Football League teams is the Las Vegas Locomotives.
Right...nothing says "train travel" like Vegas.
The only people riding the rails there these days are real estate developers escaping the construction collapse.
I wonder where those tracks lead to?
Probably a jazz venue in Salt Lake City.

A beer hit the Phils Shane Victorino at Wrigley Field.
Maybe they had Eddie Vedder back and it fell out of the press box.

District 9 opens this weekend; an area full of secrets where things go horribly wrong.
It's set in Louisville, Kentucky.

San Diego Chargers CB Antonio Cromartie was fined for using Twitter to complain about the food at training camp.
Twitter fears another collapse as Charlie Weis and Notre Dame open camp Monday.

The 33rd America's Cup race will be run in February in the southern Persian Gulf.
I hope they can squeeze it in before the pirates report for spring training.

Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin got a 30-day suspension, a cut in salary and will work with LGBT groups after he used an anti-gay slur.
This would never have happened if they hadn't dropped "Rainbows" from their team nickname.