David Ortiz says he doesn't know how he failed a drug test in 2003.
Hey, there's a hotline he can call for info: 1-800-ROID-RAGE.

The Timberwolves Shabazz Muhammad was kicked out of the NBA's Rookie Transition Program after he was caught with a young woman in his hotel room.
Wait a minute - I thought the whole point of this thing was to prepare for life in the NBA?

A-Rod will guest star on an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

Lots of controversy this week after a pro athlete was called the N-word.
Needle-user.

A-Rod's minotaur painting was just deemed a forgery.

I'm putting a Johnny Manziel-signed toga from the Texas frat party up on eBay.

Texas A&M stands for "autographs & memorabilia".

If they face any suspensions, the Blue Jays hope to get their players back in time for free agency.

The Buffalo Bills' Kevin Kolb suffered the latest in a series of mysterious accidents when he stumbled on a wet and slippery rubber mat at practice.
In related news, a day earlier EJ Manual signed an endorsement deal with Slip 'N Slide.

Jonathan Ogden, Larry Allen and Warren Sapp were all inducted into the Pro Football Hall Of Fame together.
It was the greatest night in the history of Canton, Ohio catering companies.

Tough ultimatum by MLB to Alex Rodriguez: 214-game suspension, or no suspension but has to play for the Cubs.

It was cool that Jose Iglesias homered in his second game as a Tiger, but did he have to dedicate it to all the girls he's loved before?

President Obama played a birthday weekend round of golf Saturday and then headed to Camp David.
I'm glad he could find time to get away and unwind. He needs to rest and focus on his upcoming fantasy football drafts.

The Women's British Open at St. Andrews was postponed a day due to high winds.
They're just lucky no Loch Ness Monsters got swept up in the storm.

Greg Oden signed with the Miami Heat.
Don't most old people in the U.S. retire to Florida?

A-Rod says he wants baseball to "get PEDs out of the game".
This is like Pete Rose trying to abolish gambling.

"Biogenesis" sounds like Chapter 1 of a L. Ron Hubbard novel.

Alex Rodriguez and MLB are trying to reach a deal on the length of his suspension.
150 games was a floated number, but the Yankees don't think that is long enough.

Russia has banned "gay propaganda".
There goes figure skating.

There is no excuse for Riley Cooper's actions.
I can't believe he attended a Kenny Chesney concert.