Heath Ledger's Joker will be the biggest posthumous role since the Atlanta Falcons made a December Monday Night Football appearance.

NFL owners are considering a new anti-mullet rule banning hair from flowing out of the back of players helmets.
The proposal is opposed by a little-known group: the Samoan, Rasta and Larry the Cable Guy Fan Players Association.

The Red Sox and A's opened the MLB season at the Tokyo Dome in Japan.
The Iron Chef threw out the first pitch and then challenged everyone to cook a dish using chewing tobacco.

Sunday was the traditional Easter Egg Hunt on the White House lawn in D.C., but the Georgetown Hoyas couldn't find their free throw shot.
Nine of their 17 eggs are still out there.

The agent for Pacman Jones says the Cowboys, Patriots and Lions are interested in the suspended cornerback.
Most gripped by this story are Dallas, Boston and Detroit nightclub doormen.

China's a little confused about the Olympic torch. You're supposed to run around the country using it as a relay baton, not a club.

I just finished filling out my CBI bracket. I'm glad they don't have a play-in game. The faster we can get down to figuring out who is #98.

A day after he batted leadoff in a Grapefruit League game, Billy Crystal was officially cut by the Yankees, reportedly after he turned down a request to allow George Steinbrenner to open next year's Oscars monologue.

Seven players have now deserted the Cuban under-23 soccer team in Florida for an Olympic qualifying tournament.
That's good news for the Cuban economy as the cost of the trip (lodging, food, transportation) in Cuban Pesos is plummeting.

The British Olympic Association announced Wednesday that its athletes will compete in the Beijing Olympics without the aid of pollution-protection masks.

This is alarming news to sports fans all over the world who will now be exposed to British teeth.

If you're keeping score, I think we're at 3 "Nigerian Nightmares": Samuel Peter, Christian Okoye, and e-commerce companies.

Justin Timberlake is inducting Madonna into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame tonight?
That's like Neifi Perez inducting Brandon Inge to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Samuel Peter, the new WBC Heavyweight Champion, is a devout Christian who neither drinks nor smokes and lives in Las Vegas.
This must be like a pro basketball fan living in New York.

I'm not sure which event dispersed more water this week: the flooding of the Grand Canyon or Brett Favre's press conference.

In the wake of Tuesday's retirement announcements, the NFL Network is airing 30 hours of Brett Favre programming and Warren Sapp is getting a couple hours on the Food Network.

Former U.S. Open champ Kim Clijsters gave birth to a daughter nine months after retiring from tennis due to "fatigue, lack of motivation and a decline in play".
Apparently she overcame those afflictions for her retirement party.

University of Moncton hockey player Josianne Bisaillon was suspended for an entire year after she punched a female linesman three times in the face.
Great; this totally screws up my Atlantic University Sports women's hockey fantasy league team.

There is no evidence of performance-enhancing drugs in the NHL, Commissioner Gary Bettman told a panel of U.S. congressmen in Washington, D.C. today.
As proof, he rolled some tape of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Archaeologists in Peru have unearthed a 5,500-year old plaza that is the Americas oldest urban site.
Items discovered include pottery, bricks, and a recruiting letter from Joe Paterno.

Wladimir Klitschko took another step Saturday night to unifying the Heavyweight Boredom Title. Klitschko defeated Sultan Ibragimov for the dull WBO belt in 12 rounds that had partisan Russians grumbling and jeering in a Madison Square Garden venue which is not used to seeing incompetent sporting events.
Klitschko, who was defending his sleep-inducing IBF title and also holds the somnabulant IBO title, said he was "happy to get the WBO belt back" before taking a post-bout nap.
Next up for the heavyweight champ: to continue pursuing his dream by capturing the WBA, WBC and REM titles.