Federal election Monday: rare this past week to see a ballot without a Vancouver Canuck on it.

NHL playoff ratings are up all over the continent, except in Arizona where they lagged behind The Paul Reiser Show.

Some NFL players picked up side gigs during the work stoppage.
Ben Roethlisberger got an acting role.
He's starring in the upcoming movie Hobo In The Shotgun.

The NFL players are technically allowed back into team facilities Tuesday morning.
Sebastian Janikowski is camping out in line so he's the first one into the Raiders' fitness center.

A NFLPA spokesman said if the players could have written a first legal response to the lockout, that's exactly the one they would have done, though "it might not have been 89 pages".
Yeah, most of them didn't read 89 pages total in college.

U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson ordered an end to the NFL lockout.
Of course she did; women across the country are horrified by the idea of their husbands wanting to spend time together on Sundays.

BYU forward Brandon Davies expects to rejoin the basketball team this fall after missing his team's NCAA tourney run by breaking the school's honor code through premarital sex.
Davies issued a statement saying he is looking forward to continuing his BYU education, playing basketball, and having more premarital sex.

The Cubs were angry after the Dodgers A.J. Ellis missed a sign and tried to steal a base up 8-1 in the top of the 5th.
Wow - I didn't realize no MLB team has ever come back from 7 runs down in the 5th inning.

Brandon Marshall's 1st wedding anniversary is coming up.
Gift suggestion: Nerf cutlery.

A robot failed at throwing out the first pitch of an MLB game, one-bouncing it to the plate.
The Mets signed him to a multi-year contract.

The NHL announced a new 10 year deal.
It will continue to be wildly inconsistent on its suspension rulings through 2021.

The Chicago Blackhawks top players are logging more ice time than Walt Disney.

Joe Paterno says he won't name a starting QB until the fall.
Won't or can't?

The Bruins Zdeno Charo missed game 2 against the Canadiens after he was hospitalized with dehydration.
Apparently, he needs to keep drinking his Haterade.

Word is Mike Tyson almost fought Brad Pitt in '89 when Pitt was dating Tyson's ex-wife Robin Givens.
How did this story even get out - doesn't it break the first rule of Fight Club?

Boston Pizza has temporarily changed the name of its 26 Montreal-area restaurants to "Montreal Pizza".
The company has an unusual guarantee.
If you don't get your order within 30 minutes, Zdeno Chara tries to decapitate the delivery guy.

The NBA fined Kobe Bryant $100,000 for "offensive and inexcusable" comments he made during Tuesday's game.
He said Luke Walton was a good player.

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban wants to ban people not serving "company interests" from the locker room after games.
Is Caron Butler back hanging around?

Canada moved its leaders debate a day to avoid conflicting with the Bruins-Canadiens series.
The Green Party's Elizabeth May will spend the debate in the quiet room.

New Jersey Nets co-owner Jay-Z was fined $50,000 for visiting the Kentucky Wildcats locker room after their big NCAA tourney win over North Carolina.
That may sound like a lot, but we still don't know how much John Calipari's cover charge to get into the room was.