With 35 bowls, these announcing teams get stretched pretty thin.
"Calling today's game: Tim Tebow's 2nd cousin, and a guy who was really good at Tecmo Bowl."

The Maple Leafs signed Dion Phaneuf to a 7-year extension.
Phaneuf re-signed Elisha Cuthbert for 6.5.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey topped the list of 2013's most pirated movies.
Least pirated: Madea Goes Surfing.

WTKA in Michigan reports that the FBI and Homeland Security are beefing up their presence in East Lansing for the New Year's Day Rose Bowl Game.
Finally, they can gain the upper hand in the War On Couch-Burning.

Not sure how much screen time Tim Tebow will actually get, but SEC Network jerseys are flying off the shelves.

Tim Tebow was hired as a TV analyst by the SEC Network.
They are currently working on technology to enable score updates to scroll on his eye black patches.

Due to the Russian bombings ahead of the Winter Olympics, France has officially tapped out.

Geneva Serviette wiping the floor with Canada in the Spengler Cup semi-final.

Several refs went missing during the Spengler Cup and were presumed abducted by UFOs.

The Steelers had their year-end awards dinner, giving the Chiefs Ryan Succop and Chase Daniel a trip for two to North Korea.

Poor overseas villagers refuse donation of "Michigan 2013 Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl Champions" t-shirts.

The Cincinnati Bearcats have a freshman safety named Mike Tyson.
He could have some fun with his eye black design.

The University of Cincinnati is feeling the wrath of the karma gods for not choosing one animal as their team nickname.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have suspended Andrew Bynum indefinitely for conduct detrimental to the team.
What - stepping on the court?

Jerry Jones says the Dallas Cowboys won't use a high 2014 draft pick on a QB.
If they were smart, they'd trade a pick for a GM.

I hope they make a time lapse video of converting Yankee Stadium from a football field to a hockey arena.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit coming in mid-January.
Action-thriller movie or SEC signing day mystery?

Spengler Cup: the world's most confusing hockey tournament.
Where entire nations play against teams representing steel mills from small central European towns.
It's like the equivalent of Russia playing an all-star team from Burnaby 8 Rinks.

You might have a hockey problem if you PVR Spengler Cup games Canada's not involved in.

Grudge Match: the Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot of sports movies.