Evel Knievel died Friday. Cause of death was a heart attack while playing San Francisco Rush: The Rock. In lieu of a funeral procession, his special rocket-propelled hearse will attempt to jump Snake River Canyon.

The talk down the stretch of the Knicks 104-59 loss to the Celtics Thursday night was whether or not New York would hit 60.
Points or losses?
How does Isiah Thomas survive this? Rasputin thinks this guy has nine lives.

The Arizona Diamondbacks plan to award season tickets to 12 households "experiencing financial hardships". The area of the stands the real estate agents and their families will sit in will be nicknamed Foreclosure Corner.

VANOC UNVEILS OFFICIAL MASCOTS FOR 2010 GAMES

Vancouver's 2010 Winter Olympic Games mascots were revealed to the public Tuesday. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want these things going anywhere near my kids (if I had any).
Sumi is billed as an "animal guardian spirit" (whatever that is) with a passion for the environment, but is wearing a weird hat that makes it look like he has a third ear growing out of the top of his head.
Quatchi is a sasquatch (that's a bigfoot to you, NBC) who is described as "big, gentle and shy". If he is shy then why the hell was he selected to greet strangers arriving from all over the world? He looks like he fell off a float in the West End's Pride Parade.
Miga is a "sea-bear" who is "small, mischievous and outgoing". Yeah, so's my monthly salary. Miga looks like the unholy love child of Ed Grimley and a Tamagotchi.
There's apparently a fourth creature named Mukmuk who is a "mascot sidekick". Fortunately, Mukmuk seems to have the power of invisibility, as I have been unable to locate his/her/its likeness anywhere.
I never thought it would come to this, but suddenly I am nostalgic for a simpler time when the face of the 2010 Games was a pile of rocks that looked like Stonehenge on acid.

THERE WAS NO DO; ONLY TRY

The field conditions in the Steelers-Dolphins 3-0 game Monday night resembled that swamp Yoda lived in.

2 MORE BOWL BIDS GO OUT

South Florida will head to the Sun Bowl in El Paso December 31, and UConn has accepted a bid to the NCAA Basketball East Regionals in March.

Devin Hester had two more return TDs Sunday, further cementing his status as the best NFL kick returner ever.
And it appears the Chicago Bears are trying to give him as many kickoff return touches as possible.

Croatia's national soccer team wants to hire UK opera singer Tony Henry as a mascot after he flubbed a Croatian word in the country's national anthem. Apparently, the sex reference gaffe relaxed the squad and helped lead them to victory over England.
Watch out, Croatia, can hot dog races be far behind?

Kansas-Missouri renew their nasty rivalry today, which dates back to pre-Civil War border skirmishes. Michigan-Ohio State has similar historical origins: in the mid-19th century, groups of men from Ann Arbor met armed resistance when thay repeatedly tried to introduce books into Ohio.

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR TEAM'S FAN BASE DOESN'T TRAVEL WELL

10. Only attend bowl games if they are in Alaska.

9. They think the hype and buildup surrounding the PapaJohns.com Bowl has just become too much.

8. Playing in Orange Bowl; checked luggage through to Oxford, Ohio.

7. In tribute to their coach, Charlie Weis, will only travel by hot air balloon.

6. Started tailgating before they hit the road.

5. They wonder why anyone would want to leave the midwest during the holidays.

4. Packed golf clubs for the International Bowl.

3. (Tennessee only) Riverboats have limitations.

2. They check State Department travel advisories when their basketball team is in the Mid-east Regional.

1. Can't read maps.

'Bama coach Nick Saban just spilled his beer and likened it to the Indian Ocean Tsunami.

Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr, who rarely met a rout he couldn't turn into a nailbiter, announces his retirement Monday morning in Ann Arbor.
It's refreshing to know his players are too busy participating in football, school and life to frequent online fan sites; as The Ann Arbor News reported Sunday night:
"His announcement (at a team meeting) caught some players off guard."
This brings to mind Captain Louis Renault's quote in Casablanca when he is alerted to gambling taking place in Rick's Cafe: "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on here!"
Here's looking at you coach. We'll always have 1997.
Thanks Lloyd.

Barry Bonds' legal team are claiming it wasn't his urine.
If it's not his pee, you must set him free.

Oregon became the fifth #2 to lose since October 6.
This has been the rockiest stretch for Number Two since the Austin Powers movies.

A new postseason tournament, the College Basketball Invitational (CBI) has been announced. Apparently, the ninety-seven teams currently participating in the NCAA and NIT tourneys were not enough to whet the appetite of the hardcore college hoops fans,
who were left wondering the answer to the question "Who's #98?"

Alabama is considering a live elephant mascot.
If it happens, this would be the largest mammal on the sideline of a college football field outside of Kansas.

Stephon Marbury went AWOL from New York.
He's a drama queen and the Knicks are a soap opera - maybe Starbury is just honoring Hollywood's writers strike.

#1 Ohio State got Juiced worse than a memorabilia dealer in a Vegas hotel room.

A study by UCSD and Yale professors found that baseball players whose names began with the initial K struck out more frequently.
I doubt there's much to this but I'd like to see a comment from career walks leader Barry Bonds.

The opening days of the college basketball season have produced Grand Valley State over Michigan State, Findlay defeating Ohio State and Gardner-Webb beating Kentucky.
It sounds like Final Four contenders are losing to insurance companies.

Don Shula, head coach of the 17-0 1972 Miami Dolphins, says if New England goes unbeaten this season there should be an asterisk after their W-L mark in the league record book.
Good luck, Don; the way the Patriots are rolling it would more likely be an exclamation point.

The good news is I nailed my Kansas-Nebraska score prediction.
The bad news is it was for the wrong sport.
It was very confusing playing this football game right around the time college basketball season begins.
The Kansas-Nebraska scores in basketball (2 games) and football this year are like one of those math sequencing problems: what's next in this pattern?
Basketball: Jan.29, Feb.17. Football: Nov.3.
Kansas 76 Nebraska 56, Kansas 92 Nebraska 39, Kansas 76 Nebraska 39.

Martina Hingis announced her retirement from tennis after testing positive for cocaine at Wimbledon earlier this year.
I guess she's regretting sharing that cab ride with Lindsey Lohan.