Brazil beat Canada 3-2 in a soccer friendly in Seattle.
Why were they playing at Qwest Field?
This is like Canada and the U.S. playing a hockey exhibition in Cabo San Lucas.
(Wait a minute...don't give Gary Bettman any ideas.)

A feud over sports federations might keep Iraq out of the Olympic Games.
That could make it a hollow victory indeed if Kazakhstan can skip playing Iraq to get through the Asian hockey qualifiers.

What kind of preseason odds could you have gotten that in late May Barry Zito and Justin Verlander would be a combined 3-15?
And that's after each won his last outing.
These are the worst starts since Donnie Wahlberg in The Sixth Sense.

Many schools and organizations have changed the name of "Tug Of War" to "Pull For Peace".
Whatever they want to call it, it's a fun event as long as no one gets an Indian burn from the rope.

Ken Griffey, Jr. paid his Cincinnati Reds teammate Josh Fogg the $1500 he owed him on a golf bet - by leaving 150,000 pennies in his locker.
This is not unheard of in baseball - late Twins owner Calvin Griffith delivered his payroll that way every other Friday.

The Premier of British Columbia lamented the loss of an annual kids soapbox derby street race, calling it "a sporting event second to none".
I'm sure that would be news to the International Olympic Committee.

TAI CHI EXPERT TO MAKE UFC DEBUT

Las Vegas, NV - Tai Chi teacher Lance Worthington of Des Moines, IA will make his debut in the octagon at UFC 85, it was announced today.

Worthington's opponent in the middleweight battle will be Brazilian Muay Thai champion Landroso "The Piranha" Barbera.

"I'm looking forward to bringing fluidity of motion and a sense of calm into the ring," said Worthington.

Barbera replied: "I am going to skin him alive with my hands and then samba de roda on his entrails."

FOX Sports.com published an article on the Top 10 Worst Franchises currently in pro sports and didn't include the New York Knicks.
That's like ranking the 10 Worst Presidents of all-time and not including George W. Bush.

Richie Sexson got a 6-game suspension for charging the mound and throwing his helmet.
Why should Mariners' upcoming opponents be punished for his transgressions?

The White Sox may be the only major league franchise where the players show up for a game early in hopes of getting a bobblehead doll.

In first round action at the World Hockey Championships in Quebec City, Denmark beat Italy 6-2.
On a global sporting relevance scale, this is like Bolivia defeating Kazakhstan in surfing.

HOLLYWOOD WORRIED VIDEOGAME COULD AFFECT WEEKEND BOX OFFICE

Burbank, CA - Analysts will be watching closely this weekend as speculation mounts that Tuesday's release of the interactive puzzle videogame Roogoo for the Xbox 360 could cut into box office receipts for the opening of the Patrick Dempsey romantic comedy Made of Honor.

The Tetris-like game, which involves careful stacking of differently-shaped objects, is appealing to the young female demographic that is expected to make up much of Made of Honor's audience.

"We're worried that instead of heading out to the multiplex," said BoxOfficeBonanza analyst Brandon Kurjurdian, "Girls and young women may stay home trying to complete all 45 puzzle levels and save the planet Roo."

MICHELIN DOWNGRADING O'NEAL, NASH FROM SUPERSTAR TO STAR

Phoenix, AZ - Michelin Guides announced today that after careful deliberation they are taking the "super" status away from Phoenix Suns Shaquille O'Neal and Steve Nash's star designation.

"It pains us to do this because they have spent the past decade amongst the elite players of the league," said spokesman Thierry Laroche, "But their quality of play has declined to the point where we had no choice. Perhaps a new chef can make a difference next year. Plus, je t'aime Tony Parker."

Other athletes in danger of losing their coveted Michelin superstar include David Beckham, Ken Griffey, Jr. and Jaromir Jagr.

Brazilian footballer Ronaldo brought home two prostitutes - only to discover they were actually men in drag.
Just like soccer: a night without any scoring.

Reports say Roger Clemens had a 10-year affair with country singer Mindy McCready.
Let's hope Brian McNamee hasn't kept any physical evidence.
The way that guy operates he may be raising their test-tube baby in his apartment.

New York Rangers LW Sean Avery plans to spend his summer interning at Vogue magazine.
Vogue was his second choice after there were no openings at National Review.

MARDY COLLINS WINS NBA TWELFTH MAN AWARD

New York - New York Knicks guard Mardy Collins won the NBA's inaugural Twelfth Man Award Monday, narrowly edging out the Pistons Walter Herrmann and the Lakers Chris Mihm in media voting.

He is the first Knick to nab an individual award since the 2004-5 season when Maurice Taylor won Least Improved Player.

The Jason Spezza for Roberto Luongo trade rumor is ludicrous.
Why should the West subsidize Ottawa to make up for their poor managerial decisions?

A NASA astronaut will throw out the ceremonial first pitch from the International Space Station before Wednesday's Yankees-Red Sox game.

Fitting, in that the Space Station surpassed the Yankees as the most expensive thing ever built by mankind.

Jorge Posada, wear a cup: objects in Low Earth Orbit clock 17,000 mph on the radar gun.

Yankees beware: a NASA engineer from MIT claims to have built a Red Sox pennant into one of the solar panels.

After five hours of drilling on the weekend, the Yankees found a David Ortiz Red Sox jersey buried in concrete in their new ballpark by a construction worker hoping to place a curse on them.

Similar excavations continue in Comerica Park as the Tigers search for their preseason playoff hopes.

What kind of background checks are the Yanks doing on their construction company that they are allowing them to employ people engaged in witchcraft?

What else did he bury there under a full moon: eye of newt? toe of frog? tar of bat?