MICHELIN DOWNGRADING O'NEAL, NASH FROM SUPERSTAR TO STAR

Phoenix, AZ - Michelin Guides announced today that after careful deliberation they are taking the "super" status away from Phoenix Suns Shaquille O'Neal and Steve Nash's star designation.

"It pains us to do this because they have spent the past decade amongst the elite players of the league," said spokesman Thierry Laroche, "But their quality of play has declined to the point where we had no choice. Perhaps a new chef can make a difference next year. Plus, je t'aime Tony Parker."

Other athletes in danger of losing their coveted Michelin superstar include David Beckham, Ken Griffey, Jr. and Jaromir Jagr.